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His eyebrows pulled together, his face clouding further. I stared down at my hands, wringing my fingers together. The engagement ring still felt weird and heavy, but it was so deliciously perfect that I was already wondering if I could buy it off Riggs when this charade was over. He needed the money, and I’d need the memory.
“I don’t keep tabs on your shortcomings, Duffy.” There was a beat. “And for the record, you shouldn’t either. But if it’s worth anything at all, seeing as it’s coming from me and not from Cocksucker—you will always be beautiful in my eyes. Thin, big, and in between.”
“You can’t possibly—”
“I can,” he said, cutting me off, dead serious. “I just fucking did. And meant every word of it.”
“Bugger off. You hate me.”
“I don’t hate you. Up until recently I didn’t like you, either, but I think I’m beginning to understand you.”
I wanted very badly to laugh this moment off, but something in the intensity of his voice made me want to fall apart in his arms likea sinner pardoned. To confess to him that this was what I had always wanted to hear. That it killed me that, when I’d told BJ about my weight loss when we’d first started dating, he’d responded with a callous,“Good work, Duff. Make sure you’re on top of it. You know how easy it is to pile on the pounds.”
I pressed my lips, staring at the floor. My feelings were all over the place. A mixture of elation, pain, and hope.
“So.” Riggs snapped us out of the moment, standing up and then gathering the rubbish on the coffee table. “What are we gonna do about the fact you can no longer look me in the eye?”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” I protested, rushing up and helping him clear the table. “That’s not true.”
“Do it then.” He swiveled, crowding me with his body, his gaze drilling into my face. “Let’s see.”
I shifted my stare to the kitchenette, laughing. “Christ, Riggs. A bit aggressive, don’t you reckon?”
“Coward.”
“Give me some time. I’ll get over it.” I dumped our leftovers into the bin.
“No, you won’t. There’s only one solution.” He flicked on the faucet and started doing the dishes.
“Kick you out of my flat?” I asked hopefully, leaning against the counter, facing him but concentrating on a spot behind his head.
“I see we’re still doing this thing where you pretend not to like me.” He turned off the tap and wiped his hands with a kitchen towel. “Get even.”
Our bodies were angled toward one another. My heart felt like it was about to burst through my skin and roll at his feet like a stone. What did he mean by that?
“Even?” I stared at his prominent Adam’s apple. Anywhere but his eyes.
“You showed me yours ...” He took a step in my direction, and just like that, the oxygen had dispersed from my lungs. “It’s time I show you mine.”
“Your ...?” I suspected my eyebrows hit the ceiling in that moment.
“If we both know what the other looks like naked, there’s no awkwardness. Tit.” He pointed at my breasts. “For tat.” He pointed at his knob.
I could really use a rock to crawl under right now.
“So what do you say?” he probed.
“I say no.” I marched toward my room again. At least my mouth said no. Every other part of me screamed yes. When was the next time I was going to see a deity naked, up close?
Riggs followed me. “Too bad. It’d solve all of our problems.”
“Not the most pressing one,” I pointed out, “of you being mentally sixteen, and my not wanting to take advantage of a minor.”
“For your information, I’m mentally eighteen, which means I’m game in all fifty states.”
I stopped in front of my bedroom, pinning him with a glare. “Cheers for the offer, but I’m good.”
“No, you’re not. What’s more, you should say yes just to get out of your comfort zone. Loosen up a little.”
