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Fuckkkkkkkk. I fucked up. lol. I totally screwed blondie. The girl from Finland? Hahahahaha. U were right. tits nt real.
Duffy can nvr find out.
Im legit gonna pass out im so drunk. Not sre how I even managed to get it up. call me
Bile gathered in my throat, and my heartbeat escalated to a perilous speed. I couldn’t believe what I was reading. Couldn’t believe this was the person I’d spent so many years of my life with. Planned to live the rest of my years with.
The next email had a different time stamp, six hours later.
Hey, Kieran, it’s BJ. I’m really sorry for the chain of emails from yesterday. That was ... less than a good representation of me. A friend of mine, Kane, hacked my email and started pranking people. Please don’t take this seriously. Obviously, I would never do any of those things in the email (drink excessively, cheat on Daphne, etcetera).
I’ll try to call you in a bit.
BJ
Hey, Kieran, it’s BJ again. Upon reflection, I’d like to come clean about something. I don’t want to make this even worse by lying to you, and I know I messed up really bad. I’ve been vomiting all morning and I can’t stop thinking about what I did. I’m hoping we could keep this between us. I know it’s a big ask, but please hear me out.
I’m currently in Thailand, not Nepal, with a friend. That’s why I asked you about opening a restaurant the other day. My friend, Kane, is wanting to open one in Koh Samui.
As you probably figured out, I got you and Kane mixed up because your name starts with a K and you were the last person I emailed.
We were at a party on the beach last night. Things got a little out of hand. I got really drunk. This was the FIRST and ONLY time I’ve been unfaithful to Duffy. And technically not even unfaithful because she kinda dumped me before we said goodbye in New York. I know this means little right now, considering all the lies I told her about this trip. The destination, who I was going with, and why. But please don’t let this mishap taint your view of me. I’ve been with your sister for almost a decade and I love her. This is supposed to be my last hurrah before I ask her to marry me. It’s ALWAYS been just about that. Getting some fun out of my system before we both settle down.
Look, I’m sure if we hop on the phone and talk, I can explain myself better. Can you please pick up?
BJ.
Kieran? You there? I tried calling a few times ...
My eyes slammed shut, and I focused on my breathing. Somehow, in a span of a few weeks, my life had completely fallen apart. I lost my job. I lost my boyfriend. I managed to somehowmarrya manwhore with commitment issues, and BJ cheated and lied to me.
“Duff,” Kieran groaned, looking pained. “Please say something.”
My insides singed. Not with hurt as much as with anger. At myself, mostly. I had no one else to blame. I’d placed my bet on a spoiled rich man I’d had little in common with, and paid a hefty price. Perhaps Riggs was right and it was time to think about what I wanted to do instead of how I wanted to live.
“I’ve got to go,” I heard myself say.
“Duffy . . .”
I hung up, turning to the Uber driver in a daze. “Can you make an unplanned stop?”
“Hmm ...” His gaze swung to mine in the rearview mirror. “You’ll have to get into the app and—”
“My boyfriend of seven years just told my brother that he slept with someone else at a beach party, even though he told me he was away helping monks in Kathmandu. How about now?”
This was the part in the movie where the driver would say something like, “Girl, I’ve got you, let’s kick some ass!” But this wasn’t a movie. This was my life. So the man just suppressed an eye roll and muttered, “Yeah ... that sucks ... but I’ll still need you to reroute your trip on the app.”
“Just pull over right here, please.”
I stumbled out of the Uber, feeling raw and disoriented. I was quite a few blocks away from my flat, but if I had to sit in a confined place one more minute, I’d probably hurl myself out the window.
I walked into a bodega, bought myself a bottle of vodka, wrapped it in a paper bag, and started making my way home.
If I drew disapproving glares from people on the street, I didn’t notice. I was fully and completely dedicated to the part of the sloshed, cheated-on girlfriend.
My mobile rang in my purse. I dug through it while sipping my vodka, letting the hot, burning sensation coat my throat. When I tugged my phone out and saw BJ’s name on the screen—of coursehe’d kept his phone working this whole time—my heart didn’t even miss a beat.
How sad that I had spent weeks hoping and praying for him to call me while I thought he was in Nepal, and now all I could feel was reluctance to have an official breakup call. I declined the call. He called again.
