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"You called me sweetheart," she mumbled under her breath, fixing her eyes on her intertwined fingers, fidgeting on her thighs. “You haven't called me that in—I can't even remember."
Guess who just won the Father of the Year award?
Definitely not me.
"I'm sorry, sweetheart,” I said.
She looked up at me, her eyes glistening with tears. "What are you doing here, Dad?"
"I…" Wow. Apologizing wasn't easy. Maybe a different approach would help. "Do you know why we named you Felicity?"
She shook her head. "I guess I never really thought about it."
"Well, unlike most newborns and Derick, who almost screamed down the hospital announcing his arrival, you came into this world without shedding a single tear. I still remember the look on the nurses' faces. After about three minutes with no crying, some of them became terrified that you were stillborn." I smiled as the memory came back to me. "For some reason, your mother wasn't fazed. She held you close to her chest and kissed your forehead, and you smiled. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen."
"I didn't know." A tear slipped down her face and fell into her hands. My heart squeezed.
"We knew instantly that you were going to be a happy child. So, we named you Felicity, so you never forget you are meant to be happy."
She averted her gaze. "As thoughtful as that is, I don't think I've truly been happy in a long time."
She didn't have to say it; it was because of that asshole. That fucker who'd seduced my daughter and almost destroyed her life.
"Did you stop wearing your sundresses because of him?" I asked.
I saw the surprise in her eyes when she looked at me. Then, almost as if she absolutely had to, a guarded expression took over, and she looked away once more. "I'm surprised you noticed."
"A little late, I admit, and I'm deeply sorry for that." I would spend the rest of my life apologizing to her for my role in what happened and hoped she would one day forgive me.
"Yeah, well, to answer your question, yes. Jeremy ruined a lot of things for me, and one of them is how I dress."
I scowled. "What else did he do?"
I knew asking her to travel back in time would be difficult, but I wanted to know. I needed to know in what ways my little girl had been affected and if and how I could undo the damage.
She wiped one wet cheek with the back of her hand. "I caught him fucking some girl."
What the fuck? Then it hit me. "That night?"
When she nodded, my heart shattered into a million pieces. I'd blamed her for crashing into that pole, for driving while crying without asking her why she had been crying in the first place.
"I'm going to fucking kill him," I growled, rage coursing through my blood. "I'm going to find him, and kill him, and then bring him back and do it all over again."
It wasn't the jerk I was angry at, however. I was angry at myself for being so cruel and inconsiderate. But killing him would certainly help.
Felicity's hand grabbed my arm, stilling the angry vibrations. "No. Don't. We're done with all that. I just want to move on."
Oh, my sweet little girl. Her heart was so pure that she didn't wish him bad even after all this time. She was a better person than me. She never even asked me what happened to him.
After he'd landed my daughter in a one-week coma, fighting for her life, he was lucky he wasn't six feet under. But I made sure he'd never step foot in New York again, or he really would be dead.
I met her gaze. My little girl stared back at me, and for the first time since this evening, there were no guards up. "I would give all the money in the world if I could go back in time to protect you from him. Being nineteen isn’t easy, and I forgot it was your first time. I will live with this painful knowledge for the rest of my life, knowing that I could've done more, and I hope you forgive me."
"You don't know how much I've wanted to hear those words," she smiled softly as tears gathered in her eyes. "Thank you, Dad."
Without warning, Felicity threw her hands around my neck. I froze in shock for the first three seconds; it had been a while since she'd been this close to me. Then my body relaxed, and I wrapped one arm around her small form. A genuine smile almost split my face in two.
A silent understanding passed between us. We might not be where I wanted us to be yet, but we would get there in time.
