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I still hadn't figured out what it was I felt for him. Deep down, I knew I was holding back. But why?
While I figured that out, I'd taken Dad's advice and worked on healing. Jeremy had done some serious damage to my self-esteem. If I was ever going to open up to another man, I needed to cut off every tie between who he made me become and who I truly wanted to be.
That said, I was discovering some new things about me. Others were not so new; they were just things I'd stopped doing because Jeremy had called them boring and pointless.
Like going out to dinner with my friends. Or rather, friend. Maddy was this close to deleting my number and avoiding me. I was pulling her out of the house almost every night to either karaoke or bowling or something else that was sure to leave us either exhausted or hungover in the morning. Between that and working on the game, my days—and nights were filled with a constant buzz.
At first, she worried about me, and who could blame her? I'd gone from being quiet to being the social butterfly who never wanted to stay home at night.
But then I finally summoned the courage to tell her about my past. She'd growled and kicked the air in anger, slammed her palms on the table, and then ended up crying because, according to her, I “went through hell,” and she wasn't there to protect me.
I'd assured her I was on my path to healing, and she promised to go out with me every night as long as I wanted.
That had left me extremely emotional, but it could've just been because my period was near.
Somewhere along the line, we'd also gone shopping. I'd told Maddy I wanted to try short skirts for a change, and she suggested we buy the shortest skirt known to man. Seriously, there was no difference between it and a belt.
I wasn't quite at the risqué level yet but wanted to try sundresses again. I was willing to regain those parts of myself he had taken away.
A month later, the game was released to the public. OceansPlay games opening night was always one to look forward to, so when I walked into the hall where the event was happening, my breath was stolen by the crowd.
I'd only ever attended one OceansPlay game opening night before. It was more my style than the other employee events, so Jeff didn't have to threaten to fire me this time.
Word spread about the new game, but no one really knew anything about it. Hence, the crowd. It had been two years since OceansPlay released anything big, and there was no doubt that expectations were high. I'd never seen so many people in one place.
Plus, Aaron was the lead programmer for this game, and everyone knew his last game was a global success.
Maddy found me before I found her. “Fucking hell, Fliss. Where have you been? There are so many people here I don't know who to pick."
By that, she meant men. I shook my head at her, chuckling. "For once, Maddy, just enjoy the night without thinking about bedroom activities."
"Who said anything about a bed?" She winked playfully before dragging me into the chaos.
As I walked behind Maddy, I searched the crowd for him. I didn't feel that excitement I usually felt in his presence, but that could be because there were so many people.
"He's not here,” Maddy said over her shoulder.
I turned my head to look at her. Was I that obvious?"
She smirked. "You were biting your lower lip. It was easy to tell."
Right. I straightened my face, keeping my expression as normal as possible. "I guess I just want to see him."
"It's been three months. Is seeing him all you really want?"
"I…guess not." I was about to say more when Jeff came and stole me away. He introduced me to some of the “higher-ups,” as he always called them. While some of them commended me on the quality of my work, the others only acknowledged me with a grunt.
I smiled in thanks, gladly letting Jeff pull me away to some other important guests.
"Where is Aaron?" Jeff leaned into whisper to me. "He's supposed to be the one doing these rounds."
I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know. Maybe something happened?"
Jeff shook his head. "I spoke with him about thirty minutes ago. He's fine. I'm going to kill him when he gets here."
We continued making the rounds, and fifteen minutes later, I returned to Maddy. She was engaged in a heated argument with Arjun, but there was no sign of Aaron.
"…several reasons why you are a cunt. Who chooses Izuku over Katsuki?" Maddy was saying.
