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His golden eyes were now on my mouth, almost as if he was considering whether he could kiss me. Then he lifted his gaze impassively.
"You'd better go now."
Just as I was about to respond, he disappeared. I looked around in surprise, but I was alone in the room—alone with an infinite number of questions and a chaos of emotions that could no longer be tamed.
CHAPTER 5
After sitting in the cozy wing chair by the fire for quite a while and waiting for him, I gave up at some point and walked across the corridor, past the beautiful paintings, back to my room. Or rather, his room. A detail I couldn't get out of my head even when I was finally lying under the blankets next to Aza, who was still asleep.
This was his bedroom. His bed! Although I should have been thinking about entirely different things, my thoughts kept slipping back to him. Tanael. I had sworn I would never let him turn my head again. Or rather, to break my heart again.
But it was as if my thoughts were taking on their own life, even mocking me and my intentions. Imaginations and fantasies of him lying next to me in this bed were almost driving me crazy. That must be a side effect of Hecate's brew, I tried to convince myself.
Hecate, she was more the being I should be thinking about. After all, I had decided to go with her to the realm of the dead to look for Alex. With the Goddess of Magic and Necromancy, the necromancy of the dead. A shiver ran down my spine.
Why had I been so stubborn and turned down Tanael's offer to accompany me? But I was also aware that every bit of distance I could create between him and me would be to my advantage.
Of course, a part of me longed to be close to him, but I decided to categorically exclude it from my decisions regarding this god.
After all, Tanael himself had often made it clear that he didn't want me, that he was just playing with me, and that this attraction was purely one-sided.
Or rather, that I was running after him like a fool.
I quickly buried my face in the pillows to stifle a silent, angry cry. I felt so stupid. I had lost my fiancé, my best friend, and my sister-in-law had been kidnapped, and instead of doing something about it, I was dealing with this man. The one who didn't want me and was married to boot.
No, from now on, I would lock these feelings and thoughts away and no longer pay attention to them until they slowly died away in a far corner of my soul. I had to focus my attention on more important things. And even if Tanael Baldur was the ruler of the underworld, he wasn't my biggest problem. I had to think of Charly and Anne.
We hadn't found them on the INTREPID, the museum ship. Where had they been taken, and what was John Adam Nash planning to do with them and the thousands of other women? What was his plan? And how could we stop him? Hopefully, Aspasia, Maggy, and Emma had an idea. I doubted Tanael's involvement would help us.
With the best will in the world, I couldn't imagine that this man cared much about women or humanity in general. He was pursuing his own plans anyway, which he certainly wouldn't let us in on. A feud with Nash or the Knights of John? A vendetta?
After all, he was an ancient being who had existed from the beginning of time and could have many reasons for this. This thought gave me goosebumps. What must it have been like to have lived for so long without the great love for which he had been banished?
He, the bringer of light, had been thrown into the depths of the underworld, where the light was nothing but a pale memory. I thought back to the strange mist-covered pink sky with no visible sun.
Was it magic? And was the garden with its beautiful trees, plants, and flowers nothing more than an illusion? What did the underworld look like in reality?
Images of deserts, craters, lava, and darkness rose in my mind. What did I know about the underworld and the realm of the dead? Was it one and the same place? And where exactly was it located?
I rummaged through my memories for everything I had ever heard about Lucifer, but unfortunately, it was just the story of the fallen angels. Stephan had called him Dumah, and Aza too. Why hadn't he included that name when he told me who he really was? What did this word mean that he was trying to hide from me?
Suddenly, an idea came up. I quietly slipped out of the room again. When I reached Tanael's study, I carefully opened the door and was relieved to see that the room was empty. I quickly went inside and headed straight for the many bookshelves. I ran my finger over the spines of the books and was delighted to discover many English works among them. Finally, I came across what I had been looking for. An encyclopedia. I quickly opened the thick book and rummaged through the pages with the letter "D".
I soon found what I was looking for. Dumah. I held the heavy volume with all my strength so that the sparse light from the chandelier could fall on its pages and read the description.
In Jewish and Islamic tradition, Dumah or Duma (Hebrew/Aramaic: rest, silence) is the name given to the Angel of the Underworld. He takes the souls of the deceased and assigns them to the various realms of the afterlife. He is also known as the punishing prince of hell and Angel of Death.
Angel of Death? I let the book fall shut louder than I intended. He had lied to me. If he was the Angel of Death, the one who took the souls of the deceased, it was also in his power to give life. He had let Alex die! He may not have rammed the sword into his body, but it was he who had taken his soul. How could I have fallen for him again?
He was a liar, a cheat, and just playing with me and my feelings. The coldness he occasionally showed me was his true self, his true face. I swore to myself that I would never let myself be blinded by those golden, warm eyes again.
Anger and hatred coiled like a poisonous snake in my veins. I, no, we all couldn't trust him. No matter what his plan was, we would not be part of it. He thought he could use us for his own purposes. A mirthless laugh escaped my throat. I would turn the tables on him. We would use him to get to our destination, and then John Adam Nash and Tanael Lucifer Baldur could destroy each other for my sake. That would make our world a whole lot better.
Tanael thought we were stupid enough to fall for him. I would prove him very wrong.
My mind was made up. If this Angel of Death was so careless with our lives, then it was only fitting that he ultimately paid with his own to free us from the Knights of John. He was no less our enemy than Nash, and why should we sacrifice ourselves to save the life of one of these monsters?
I returned the book exactly where I had found it on the shelf. Before I left the room, I peeked through the gap in the door into the still-deserted corridor.
