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"I'm certainly not going to leave you anywhere, Myrina," the angel burst out, taking me in his arms again without further ado. "We'll just run after the group, and as soon as you have enough strength, you can go yourself."
"I didn't realize that dying takes so much energy," I said, trying to lighten the mood.
"It's definitely wasted energy that could have been used for so many better things," he teased me with a wink. I immediately stiffened against his body, which was so close to mine. It was apparent what he was getting at.
"Are all angels as obsessed with sex as you?" I asked straight out and wanted to bite my tongue.
"When you consider that we didn't even know sex for the first millennia before humans existed, we have some catching up to do." He grinned mischievously. "We like to give ourselves to our partners."
"Then you must have had a lot of partners," I blurted out.
"No." He stared at me with his head tilted, his eyes a deep longing. "For me, there has and always will be only one woman."
If he had ripped my heart out at that moment, it would have been no less painful than that very answer. Tanael wasn't interested in me; he just liked to flirt. Why did I always realize that too late?
Could I hold it against him? Certainly not that he had loved the same woman for thousands of years, nor that he longed for physical closeness and affection. Could I hold it against him that he flirted with me and even kissed me? Not really, because I allowed it, even though he had always been honest about his great love.
I had to admit I was the only one to blame for my misery. I'd love to blame the angel, but that wouldn't be fair.
"I think I can walk again now," I mumbled, wriggling out of his arms until my feet hit the ground. Of course, that was a lie. I could barely stand on my feet, but under no circumstances would I be able to stay this close to his body for even a second longer.
"Are you sure about that?" Tanael's eyebrows drew together, and he eyed me critically. "You look like you're going to fall over any second. Come on, I'd better carry you a bit longer." He immediately lifted me up again.
"Put me down," I hissed back indignantly. My reaction annoyed me because I shouldn't have passed on my anger at myself to him.
"What's wrong, Myrina?" Tanael asked calmly but continued to hold me in his arms.
"What's wrong?" His question fueled any pain I was experiencing from his rejection. "I can't do this anymore!" I pointed my finger from him to me and back again without gazing at him. I couldn't do it right now.
Suddenly, I was standing with both feet on the ground.
I looked up at him in surprise.
"I understand." His voice sounded unusually uncertain. "I'm sorry about that. I didn't stick to our agreement to keep my distance from you."
Now, it was he who avoided my gaze.
"It's just so damn hard for me," he murmured. Hope swelled inside me. Did he feel something for me after all?
"But you're right. Distance would be best. We mustn't get any closer," he added hastily, and my hope that had arisen burst like a balloon and dissolved into nothing.
So, I nodded silently.
"Let's keep walking." I couldn't say any more without it plunging me even further into misery.
Although he didn't pick me up again or support me, he stayed beside me while I dragged myself through the tunnel. I tried to avoid his gaze, which I could feel on me.
It was my responsibility to keep him at a distance and thus protect myself.
The further we got, the more I recovered, and at some point, I felt physically as fit as before the incident. We hadn't said another word to each other the whole time, lost in our thoughts, until we came across the rest of the group, who had stopped to look around.
"Oh, there you are at last. We were wondering where you were," Sam called out to us. I couldn't help but notice his scrutinizing gaze, which he shot back and forth between us.
"Myrina was still struggling to keep up, so I stayed with her," Tanael muttered quickly. "What have you discovered?" He also examined the environment curiously now.
"This is where the tunnel ends," Edward explained, pointing to a hole in the floor just before the wall that closed the passage. "It seems to go on down there, but it will be tough."
"Why?" The God of the First Light walked towards the hole in the ground.
