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Realize your life is over.
“Got it.” I slip into the bathroom, grateful that Huxley’s remodel from a couple years ago included private bathrooms instead of the communal ones the other dorms have. Lani and I were lucky to get a spot in this building, and I’ve never been more thankful.
The last thing I need is to park myself in a public bathroom stall for ten minutes while I wait to find out if this nightmare is in fact my reality.
It takes forever for me to pee. It’s like my brain knows what I’m trying to do and my body has frozen in response.
“Come on,” I whimper, trying to relax.
Finally a little pee comes out, enough to wet the stick.
I place it on the edge of the sink and bite my bottom lip.
Three minutes.
Why does that feel like an eternity?
Setting my timer, I pace the small bathroom, my sneakers squeaking on the tiles as I will myself not to check too soon. My mind ping-pongs back and forth as I try to pray a negative result into existence.
But it feels like a hopeless whisper.
Which is why I’m not surprised at all when my watch starts buzzing and I pick up the test and spot the big plus sign.
“Shit.”
It’s the only word out of my mouth for the next five minutes as I try to come to terms with this.
Then I have a moment of hopeful panic, drink like a gallon of water, and pee on fourteen more sticks.
Yes. Fourteen.
I was going out of my mind, desperate for a negative.
But what did I get?
All positives.
ALL positives!
Fifteen crosses staring me in the face, telling me what I don’t want to know.
I’m pretty sure I went into a state of catatonic shock after that, because when Lani walks through the door later that night, I’m still sitting on my bed, surrounded by positive pregnancy tests and staring at the wall like my eyes are about to pop out of my head.
She jerks to a stop, her lips parting, her hands shaking as she runs them through her hair.
“Oh my?—”
“I know,” I whisper, still staring at the wall.
“Are you?—”
“It appears so.”
She pushes the tests to the side so she can take a seat on the edge of my bed. Resting her hand on my knee, she gives it a little squeeze.
I glance at her face, noticing how shaken up she is.
She gets it.
