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Fear pulses through me, a thick beat that’s heavy and making my head spin.
I press my fingers into my hairline, rubbing hard lines across my forehead. “But won’t that make it real?”
Glancing at his face, I spot the tail end of his pained expression before he gives me a glum smile. “I think that pile of pregnancy tests in my bedroom says it is.”
I blink at him. “You haven’t thrown them away?”
“I’m going to. I just needed the reminder when I woke up this morning.” He points at himself. “Still in shock.”
“Yeah, ditto.” I let out this brittle laugh that sounds weird. “And I’ve known for a week longer than you have. Probably more, if I’m honest. It just took me that long to take a test and face this shit.”
He sighs and nods like he gets it, his hands going into his hoodie pockets. He’s so broad and big. I can’t help staring at those wide shoulders and thinking how much I’d love to lean against the right one again.
But it’s not like that.
We’re not a couple.
We’re just two people sharing an egg and a sperm.
“Book an appointment. I’ll go with you,” Casey says.
My escalating meltdown goes on hold for a second, and I blink at him, shaking my head. “What?”
“What?” His head jolts back. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Who are you?”
“What do you mean?”
“I thought you were Casey ‘Man Slut’ Pierce. Never sleep with a girl more than once. Never call a girl back.”
His expression goes blank, and he looks to the ground. I think I’ve offended him, but I’m only telling the truth, right? I can’t believe it would even sting him. I thought he was proud of himself for bagging all those babes.
I roll my eyes, fidgeting with my rings and wondering what to say.
He sniffs, looks at me, then darts his eyes away.
“I just… I don’t understand how you can go from that to offering to drive me to an appointment.”
He forces a smile. It’s tight, and his eyes aren’t glimmering with any kind of amusement. “I told you, I’m not being an asshole and bailing on you over this.”
“Look, I can tell you don’t want to.”
“Of course I don’t want to!” His arm flicks up in time with his voice. He lets out this disbelieving huff like I’ve just said the dumbest thing ever. “Neither of us wants this, but it’s our reality right now, and until you decide what you’re going to do, it will continue to be our reality. And I’m not saying that to pressure you, okay? I know this is a big decision and you want to make the right choice for yourself, but…” He sighs, running a hand over the back of his head until the hairs are sticking up all over the place. “I won’t leave you hanging. I might sleep with lots of different chicks, but that doesn’t make me an asshole. If you need me, I’ll be there, okay?”
I swallow, then go back to kind of gaping at him. Not a chin-to-my-collarbone kind of gaping, but my lips are parted, my eyes feel wide, and I don’t know what to say.
“Whether you like it or not, you need to check in with a doctor. Just because you don’t want to be pregnant doesn’t mean you can ignore this.”
Pulling out his phone, he starts tapping on the screen, and for some reason, I just stand there letting him boss me around. To be honest, it feels kind of nice having someone take charge like this.
Usually that’s Lani. She’s great at organizing me and telling me what to do, but she’s been off ever since I told her about this pregnancy. I hate it. This gulf has formed between us, and I don’t know how to fix it. I shouldn’t have told her everything. I should have just kept my mouth shut, because now she’s pissed with me for my reckless behavior.
It’s weird, actually. Considering she’s my best friend, she’s being kinda judgy.
Crossing my arms, I frown at Casey when he looks at me.
“The Student Health Center will be the first place to start. I can get you an appointment on Thursday.” He shows me the booking form on his phone, and I shudder again. His voice softens. “It’s gonna be okay.” He starts filling in the form, and I stand there not arguing with him while I quietly lament the shitstorm my life has become.
