AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Who the fuck knows?” I mutter.
“Well, if she decides yes… what if it’s yours?”
I squeeze my eyes shut, hating the question.
“I can’t be a dad,” I finally rasp. “I don’t know anything about raising a kid.”
“No one does. You gotta learn on the job.”
“Come on.” I sit back and glare at him. “I never had a father. How the hell am I supposed to know what to do?”
“There are plenty of men out there who have been raised by a single mother and ended up being amazing dads. What makes you any different from them?”
I open my mouth to argue, but I can’t think of a rebuttal fast enough.
“Look, parenting’s hard. No matter what background you come from, there’s no specific rule book for your specific child. You have to figure it out as you go, and you can think you’re as prepared as you wanna be and you’ll still get the shit surprised right out of you. And there are a million different books and pieces of advice. All of them contradict one another, and sometimes it’s damn near impossible to know what to do, but here’s the thing…” He leans forward, his eyes starting to dance with a look that I can only describe as pure joy. “It comes down to two simple rules—love them and show up for them no matter what.” He shrugs. “It’s that easy.”
My forehead bunches into a tight frown. I can feel it. “It’s not that easy.”
“Yeah, it is, man.” He gently slaps my shoulder. “Trust me on this. All your kid wants from you is love and attention. Whether you let them cry themselves to sleep or have them attached to you twenty-four seven. Or whether you feed them homemade solids or the stuff bought from the store. Whether you play them Mozart or Beyoncé. Whether you teach them to skate or hand them a football. None of that shit makes any difference. All you have to be is there. All you have to tell them is that you’ll always love them.”
Once again, I open my mouth to argue, but nothing comes out.
“You could screw up in a hundred different ways, Casey. But if your kid knows you’re gonna love them no matter what and show up when it counts the most, you’re acing parenthood. If you’re committed to not abandoning this woman and your unborn kid, then you’re halfway there.”
I give him a weak smile, thinking about how I stormed away from Caroline this afternoon. But the thought of seeing her again makes my stomach revolt. How do I ever look at her and trust her after what she tried to pull?
She should have told me the truth.
What if the kid’s not mine?
I don’t want to get involved with a mess that fucking big!
Which means she’s not your girl anymore.
The thought punches me in the chest, and I slump forward again.
“I know it’s tough, but you are going to get through this.”
I give him a half-hearted smile. “I wish I had a dad like you.”
“What are you talking about? You do have a dad like me.” He points at himself and winks before slapping me on the shoulder and getting up.
“I’m gonna try to catch a bit more of the game, but I’m here if you need me, all right?” He walks to the door and stops to check that I heard him.
I nod and lift my hand in a wave, watching the door until it clicks shut behind him.
His words run through me like liquid honey, thick and viscous, sticking to every part of me.
Could I really be a dad one day?
I never thought I could be, but…
Leaning back with a heavy sigh, I slap my shoulders against the metal locker as images of me skating with a little kid twirl through my brain. Would it be a boy or a girl? Would he have shaggy hair like me, or would she have long red pigtails? I could teach him or her to play video games. Caroline could teach them to dance. Music would ring through our house—songs from every decade. We’d laugh and sing. Our house would be a chaotic, comfy mess with unmade beds and toys strewn across the floor. They’d come to my games, cheering for me and doing cute shit like pressing their faces against the plexiglass so I could “kiss them” before the games. We could be so happy.
It’s the weirdest vision I’ve ever had.
And the thing that’s confusing me more than anything is, I’m not freaking out.
