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All he could do was shake his head again. Shuli knew about his “situation,” and so did his parents and the Brothers, but other than that, he kept things quiet. The shit was hard enough to live with, impossible to explain, and he wasn’t interested in helping other people understand what he didn’t want to talk about in the first place.
“It doesn’t matter.” He glanced out to the street. “But your father’s right. I’m not worth blowing your life up for, and anyway, you shouldn’t be angry at him for keeping you safe—fromlessersor anyone else. That’s love and you’re lucky he cares.”
There was a stretch of silence, and for a brief moment he felt the quiet satisfaction that comes with doing the right thing. Not an emotion he’d had for a very long time.
Then again, he hadn’t done a right thing for the right reason in—
“Oh, my God, will you spare me the benevolent rescuer act.”
Nate snapped to attention, all record-screech. “I’m sorry, what?”
“You know, you and my father should get along better. You’ve both got the same attitude.” She motioned back and forth between them. “Couple of fence lines for you and me going forward. One, I’m not blowing up my life over anybody, and that includes you. I don’t even know you. And two, as difficult as it may be, try to resist commenting on stuff you don’t know anything about. It might make you feel superior to stand on a mountain, but the truth is, there’s no victory in beingpatronizing. Especially when your intended target”—she pointed to herself—“doesn’t care about your opinion.”
Nate felt his brows pop up. Then he glanced at one of the two ash spots on the asphalt, where she’d sent a slayer for a little metaphysical ride back to Lash.
“But I am sorry I missed.”
He met her eyes again. “I’m sorry, what?”
“When thelesser—shot you. I… missed. When I tried to kick the gun out of his hand.”
Nate had an absurd impulse to step forward and wrap his arms around her. Instead, he could only shrug. “Weapons can’t hurt me.”
“I didn’t know that at the time.”
Before he could respond to that, she cleared her throat. “And I apologize if I sound like a bitch. But this has been a very long night. I’m tired, and you scared the shit out of me, and my father really pisses me off. So that’s where I’m at.”
Everything about her, from the flush on her cheeks, to the way she crossed those arms, to the scent of her and the rhythm of her words, became vividly, achingly clear to him. Then again, the fog that covered everything and everyone around him—that was so innate to him that he didn’t really notice it anymore—never had applied to her.
He had always seen her clearly.
“Why’s your night been so hard,” he asked softly. “Apart from me playing dead back there. And thelesserthing. Well, things, really, ’cuz there were two. Then your dad. Actually, you’re right. That’s a list right there, isn’t it.”
Her eyes flared in surprise like people didn’t ask her for personal details very often. He felt the same way. They weren’t something he asked for very often. Or at all.
“I, ah, I started it with a fight with my best friend.”
“Oh, yeah.” He nodded. “I know what that feels like.”
Not that he and Shuli had been friends for a long time. But they absolutely had had conflict in that Tesla.
“Some nights are better off not starting,” he muttered.
“You’re not going to tell me anything, are you?”
“There’s nothing to tell.”
“Your definition of ‘nothing’ and mine are different.” She paused, as if to give him an opportunity to speak. “But there you go.”
As she took a step back, he wanted to ask her to stay with him. Yeah, and then what? They were just going to stand here, shooting the shit, while he dodged her entirely reasonable questions and they were sitting ducks forlessers?
“I’d tell you to take care of yourself,” she murmured, “but like you said, I’m guessing that isn’t necessary. Anyway, thanks for having my back over there, and here’s your phone.”
He accepted the thing from her. “You’re welcome—”
With a curt nod, she was up and out, the thin air she left behind nothing compared to her physical presence.
As he felt a letdown, he reminded himself that he had more important things to worry about than a female who was never going to be his, anyway.
