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A couple hundred thousand dollars would make it feel real special. Sasha hadn’t been wrong.
Her romantic prospects were nonexistent. Who had she been saving it for? Maybe the reason she’d never had sex wasn’t because the universe was going to send her someone special, but now she could use it to get her life back on track. Money might not buy happiness, but at this point, she would settle for security. It wasn’t as if she could even think about being happy when she was very likely to end up on the streets, starving, if she didn’t do something to fix her situation now.
Why not use her virginity to fix her life?
It wasn’t doing her any other kind of good.
Then she’d never have to admit to Katrina how bad it had gotten. Never have to admit it to her mom. No one would ever need to know. How would they know? They wouldn’t.
Am I really going to do this?
Do I really have another choice?
She could always go back to the strip club and beg Victor to give her another chance, but did she really have the guts to try again, even if he agreed? Sasha had had a point about only having to get naked in front of one guy. Plus, since he’d paid for her, it would mean he actually wanted her.
It wouldn’t just be getting up in front of a group of strangers who were judging her and insulting her if they didn’t like what she did. Heck, the man would know she was a virgin. He wouldn’t be expecting her to be good at it. And if she got upset, well…
A guy who’s willing to pay to pop your cherry won’t mind a bit of crying.
Emily bit her lower lip as she checked her emails. Nothing back from any of the applications she’d put in. No missed calls.
At the very least, she could apply to the site. She could always back out if she changed her mind, but if she didn’t get her application in today, she would be too late.
Don’t think about it too hard. Just treat it like another job application.
It kind of was, too. Since she was applying as a virgin, other than checking off that she had no sexual history, the website wanted her name and the same information that regular jobs required. She also needed to upload a clean bill of health—thankfully, she had that. She’d been able to go to a free clinic a few weeks ago, and she still had the paperwork.
At the time, she hadn’t been sure it had been worth not picking up the extra shift that had come up for grabs, but she hadn’t been to the doctor since before her mom had gone to jail and her dad dipped out, so she’d gone and waited all day in line to be seen. Then she’d gone to the library, scanned it, and sent it to her email. Now, she was so glad she had.
Next, she got to the section asking for pictures. She’d seen the kinds of pictures on the site, but thankfully, the other ones in the virgin section were a little less revealing. She supposed it was because they were going for the innocence angle. That helped her out.
Getting to her feet, she walked on unsteady legs to the bathroom, telling herself that she was unsteady from sitting for so long, not because she was freaking out. Nope, she was definitely not freaking out at all.
Thankfully, the bathroom was empty. Emily locked the door behind her and stood there in the harsh light, staring into the mirror. She looked… haunted. Her eyes were too big, and her skin was a lot paler than normal, and when she tried to smile, it looked incredibly fake.
Good thing she didn’t have to show her face.
Holding the camera at different angles, she took a bunch of pictures, careful to turn her face away from them. Tugging down the front of her shirt, she daringly got a shot of her ample cleavage.
None of it looked quite right. Maybe it was the lighting or her phone’s crappy camera, but it didn’t look the way she wanted it to. She felt stupid when she flipped through them, but she also didn’t think she could do much better, so she uploaded them.
Even fifty thousand dollars would make a huge difference to her life.
What if no one bids on me?
Well, at least she’d be no worse off than before. Her pride and self-confidence might take a beating, but she didn’t exactly have an abundance of those.
Taking a deep breath, she hit submit. It felt like something monumental should happen at that moment, but nothing did. There was no outcry, the power didn’t flicker, and no one screamed at her that she was a whore… the world just kept going on around her.
Unlocking the door, she walked out. Not a single person looked her way.
She supposed it didn’t really count as a life-changing event until it actually happened. All she’d done was send in an application to change her life. Heck, she didn’t know if she’d actually even be approved.
She still didn’t know if she wanted to be.
5
The Auction Site
