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It bothered me.
It bothered me a whole hell of a lot as we were growing up, and I never understood why he ran from something most people craved.
Family.
It still doesn’t make sense to me, but he suffered through a tragedy, and I don’t think anyone can really make sense out of tragedy.
Only…something else has been bothering me lately. Something that’s kept me up at night, made my wheels spin out until I hydroplane so badly that I pull myself from the ugly wreckage and convince myself that I’m seeing shit that isn’t there. Shit that’s too fucked-up to warrant even an ounce of speculation.
Something far worse than any monster, demon, or foul beast I could ever imagine or create.
“The dance is this way.” Kip’s voice breaks through my dark thoughts when I veer off in a random direction. He gives me a sharp smack on the shoulder, but it doesn’t rattle me as much as my own inner workings. “You good?”
“Yeah, I’m good. I—” My cell phones buzzes in my front pocket. Veronica’s name lights up the screen with a text message and I smile, a warm fuzzy feeling replacing the poison. “Hold up, it’s the girlfriend.”
Kip waves a hand at me as if to say “carry on.”
Veronica: I have a surprise for you :)
Ooh. A surprise from Veronica either results in sexual favors or…
Actually, that’s it.
She’s pretty easy to figure out, but I’m sure as hell not complaining.
Me: New toy, new lingerie, or new position to try…? ;)
Veronica: *gasps with horror* How dare you assume that I’m only trying to get into your pants. Lingerie.
Me: Cheeky minx. I guess I might have to dip out of my shift early. Not feeling so well tonight.
Veronica: It’s not flu season, but it could be flu season. Hurry home, Theodore. ;)
Ah, the full name.
She’s definitely horny.
I send her a few suggestive emojis as Kip chuckles beside me. “What?” I’m still smiling when I glance up at him.
“Nothing. I just miss that.”
“Sex?”
“That’s not the issue. It’s the other stuff.” His finger circles in front of my mouth, where I’m still grinning like a lovestruck idiot. “The feelings. Being smitten. You know…love.”
“I’m not in…” I stop short because I don’t necessarily believe what I’m about to say. Maybe I’m in love. Hell, I’m not so sure I know what it even feels like, but it’s different from my relationship with Monica. That was a roller coaster of toxicity and back-and-forth insanity.
This is…something sweeter.
Veronica is someone I’d draw my sword for in a heartbeat.
Maybe that is love.
My palm glides along the banister overlooking the lower level as I glance back down at the inappropriate meme Veronica just sent me. Laughter slips through as I tell Kip, “You know, I think I do lo—”
Two hands suddenly plant against my chest, shoving me backward.
My hackles rise, confusion blanketing me.
