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And then…I sing.
I sing her favorite lullaby, partially off-key, nearly cracking on my own remorse, and June continues to cry until her body goes still and her breathing steadies. I sing about rainbows and blue skies, and I wonder if that’s where Theo is right now. Somewhere over the rainbow, a happy little kid again, laughing and loving, rescuing things in need of saving.
Only, the things in need of the most saving are right here—nestled together like two lost creatures sheltering from the cold.
June lifts up slightly when the song fades into silence, dragging Aggie over my hip and placing him in my lap. Her voice is scratchy as she says, “Take him, Brant. He’s a good friend.”
I look down at the well-loved toy with ratty fur and wrinkled ears. Some of the plush is rubbed raw, the white inner stitching peeking through from where June gave him one too many kisses or held him a little too tightly. I shake my head. “No, he’s yours.”
“I want you to have him. You already lost Bubbles, and I broke my promise. I never found him for you.”
“I don’t need Bubbles anymore,” I tell her softly, pressing a kiss to her hair. “I’m okay.”
Her eyes draw up to mine, wide and watery. “You only say you’re okay so you can be strong for me. But I know you’re not. You’re in need of comfort, too.”
“I have comfort, June,” I say. Cupping the back of her head with my palm, I pull her back down to my chest and braid my fingers through her long, limp hair. I sigh, a smile breaking through as she curls back in to me. “I have you.”
I should have known she’d find her way into my bed.
Vulnerable, teary-eyed, and wracked from nightmares, she crawls in beside me, stirring me from my own restless slumber. “Brant.”
My name is whispered on a broken breath as fingers slide their way through my hair and a warm body presses to mine.
Alarm bells sing as my eyelids flutter open.
She shouldn’t be here.
Not now. Not anymore.
She’s too fragile, too lost, too pliant.
And so am I.
Backing my hips away from her warmth, I let out a sigh: equal parts turmoil because she shouldn’t be here, and solace because she is.
“June,” I murmur, loathing the shakiness in that single word. “Go back to bed.”
I see her head shake back and forth through the dark room while moonlight illuminates her falling tears. “Don’t make me, Brant. Please.”
“You shouldn’t be here.”
“Why not?”
This time I can justify it. This time I have a reason. Swallowing, I grit out as gently as I can, “You know why.”
Her breath hitches, her fingers still twining through my hair.
I know it’s harmless.
Innocent. Pure comfort.
But now all I can feel are her hands in my hair, tugging at it desperately, like when our mouths were locked together as moans poured from her lips.
My nether regions begin to rouse at the memory, and I inch backward. “Please. Go.”
“I can’t. I had a horrible nightmare.” She moves closer. “You died. I lost you. God, I can’t lose you…” June buries her face against my bare chest, her body tremoring with quiet sobs. “Let me feel you. Please…let me know you’re alive.”
My heart cracks, right along with my resolve. I let out a hard, painful exhale, and gather her in my arms, yanking her as close as I can. Her left leg lifts, wrapping around my hip until we’re impossibly tangled.
