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Popping the cap off more boxes, I keep digging. Keep reading.
May 10, 2005
Brant went to a birthday party today. He was given a chocolate cupcake, his favorite flavor, but he didn’t eat it. He brought it home and gave it to June because she skinned her knee this morning and he thought it would make her feel better.
April 5, 2006
Theodore wanted to have a sword fight with June in the backyard, but June wanted to ride her bike with Brant. Theodore thinks she loves Brant more than him, but I told him he was wrong. She doesn’t love him more, she just loves him differently. I’m glad he didn’t ask me what that meant because I don’t know.
June 23, 2008
June told me she wants to marry Brant one day. I told her she couldn’t because he’s her brother. She said, “Theo is my brother. Brant is my handsome prince.” This kid watches too many Disney movies.
January 2, 2011
Brant canceled his plans with Wendy because June fell ill. He made her soup and suffered through a Hannah Montana movie with her. Whoever he marries one day will be a lucky lady.
Emotion is clogged in my throat as I reach for a more recent box, both eager and terrified.
May 11, 2019
June picked out her prom dress. It’s gorgeous. The first thing she said? “I think Brant will love it.” I had no idea what to say to that.
June 7, 2019
June just walked down the stairs in her prom dress. She’s absolutely glowing. Andrew is tearing up like a giant sap. I love this man.
Brant can’t keep his eyes off of June. I guess he loves her dress.
Theodore looks so handsome in his uniform. I’m very proud of him. He hugged me a little harder before he left for his shift tonight, and he whispered in my ear, “You’ve raised us right, Mom. You’ve done a damn good job.”
He’s gone. Theodore is gone. My baby boy is gone.
Fuck, I can’t do this.
Cupping a hand over my mouth, I shove the box away and drink in a deep, anguished breath. Samantha hesitates before pushing more boxes toward me across the floor. Older boxes, where sweeter memories lurk inside.
I gather my courage and pop off the tops, and then I lose myself.
I read through more cards. So many cards. Hundreds of cards.
Each one houses precious moments. Forgotten moments.
Glimpses into the future.
Foreshadowing.
And above all…love.
May 2, 2004
The boys gave June the cutest nicknames. Junebug and Peach. This little girl is so loved.
June wanted to draw on her new coloring pad, so Brant drew with her. She scribbled a bunch of colors onto the paper and said it was a secret magical place over the rainbow. She asked Brant if he would live there with her one day, and he said yes—but how will they get there? June already had the answer. “I’ll fly us there because I have wings!” she said. Brant told her he couldn’t wait to go. Then June said it might be a long time because she still has to grow up a lot more (aww). Brant said, “That’s okay, Junebug. I’ll wait forever.” My heart!
The angry adrenaline leaves me as I deflate, running a hand through my hair and finding my bearings. I glance up at the pen sticking out of Samantha’s bun, finally knowing why it’s always in there. She’s been documenting our life’s moments—turning them into something tangible.
Small ones, big ones, forgettable ones, devastating ones, cherished ones.
