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Oh my God.
I glance toward the sky again as I fidget in place, assuming that with my luck, the birds will soon be circling back to poop on me.
Sweaty fingers cling to the bouquet stems while everything goes silent, and the reverend clears his throat. He looks dubious. He remains unreadable, but I’m not allowed to look behind me yet.
Brant has a surprise.
I realize it’s backwards, having me already at the end of the aisle while Brant walks down to meet me, but I suppose we’ve always been a little bit backwards. I promised I wouldn’t turn around until he told me to, so here I stand—in all of my quivering, sweaty-limbed, heart-palpitating glory.
C’mon, Brant!
Music finally floats through the speakers, and I sigh with relief when it’s the beginning of “Over the Rainbow,” an acoustic cover performed by Amber Leigh Irish.
Our song.
And I’d be near tears right now if the romantic mood wasn’t interrupted by collective gasps, followed by a sound that vaguely resembles a horse.
The reverend’s eyebrows lift to his hairline, but he refuses to look at me, crossing his hands at the wrists in front of him.
I blink. “Was that a horse?”
He shakes his head slightly, forcing another taut smile.
Of course I didn’t hear a horse.
That would be absurd. It was probably just—
“No! Get back here!” Brant’s voice thunders over the melodic song, causing my eyes to pop. “Crap.”
What. Is. Going. On?
Voices clamor behind me.
“Should we help him?”
Aunt Kelly.
“He’s eating the decorations!”
Mom.
“This was a terrible idea.”
Dad.
“Look, he’s peeing…for an eternity.”
Wendy.
“Will he ever stop peeing?”
Wendy again.
“Ooh, really good dye job.”
Celeste.
I can’t take it anymore.
