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June snorts, nearly spitting out her drink.
Theo’s head whips toward me, the wound clearly still fresh. “Yes, Brant, I’m sure. And by the way, fuck you, and fuck mushrooms.” His flash of teeth and burst of laughter softens his words. “I don’t even like mushrooms. Now I’m pissed I always picked him in Mario Kart.”
“Fuck mushrooms,” June echoes, doubling over with laughter. She tips sideways, her temple falling to my shoulder as her hand cups her mouth.
“Seriously,” he says. “Fuck a lot of things, but fuck mushrooms the most.”
“Oh my God…that’s our new catch phrase, Theo.” Her shoulders are shaking, her nails digging into my forearm as she holds herself up. “When we absolutely hate something, we’ll say ‘fuck mushrooms.’” She can’t breathe through her fit of giggles. My frame is literally keeping her from toppling to the patio pavers.
Theo isn’t faring any better. He’s hunched forward across from us, beer bottle dangling between his knees, his head down. His whole body vibrates with silent belly laughter. “Jesus, Peach.” He finally lifts his head with a sigh, tears shimmering in his eyes. “That’s gold right there.”
I laugh with them, partly because it’s funny but also because June has tears trickling over her cheekbones as she comes down from the high, hiccupping, with the side of her face smashed against my arm. “You good?” I grin down at her, nudging her with my elbow.
Nodding, she swipes at the tears tinged with mascara and sucks in a deep breath. She meets my eyes, hers still twinkling. “I think I’m good. Whew.” June reaches over me and flicks her thumb across the corner of my mouth, her face mere inches from mine. Vanilla crème invades me. I inhale a sharp breath, noting the sweet smile still curving her lips. “You had a little dab of frosting,” she says softly, her nose crinkling.
My mouth tingles from her touch.
Get a grip, Brant. Get a fucking grip.
“Thanks.” I take a swig of my beer and look away, trying to ignore the feel of her shoulder still glued firmly to mine, as if she’s cold. As if it isn’t seventy degrees out, with a crackling fire only a foot away.
I sigh, lowering my beer.
When I glance up, Theo is staring at me. Watching me carefully.
Studying me.
His eyebrows are pinched together, the easy humor gone, his hand fisting the nozzle of his beer bottle in a tight grip.
What does he see right now?
Is there a spotlight on my heart?
Did I give myself away when my eyes dipped to June’s mouth for the swiftest second?
I send him a small smile, tapping the side of my beer with my index finger. Theo hesitates for a moment, like he’s lost somewhere in his mind, then blinks himself from the haze. He smiles back, but it doesn’t feel as genuine.
Unless I’m imagining it all.
Maybe Theo is simply daydreaming about sports, or an inside joke with Kip, or what he wants to do to his girlfriend later.
Maybe I’m going mad, making up wild scenarios that hold no weight.
And that’s the terrifying thing about keeping a secret that can rip your whole world apart. Sometimes you hold on too tight and spring a leak. Bits and pieces start to spill out, little by little, and before you know it all your ugly, shameful truths have been exposed.
There’s no going back once there’s a leak. All you can do is mop up the spillage and pray the damage isn’t more than you can bear.
Theo slaps a hand to his thigh and rises to his feet, taking a final chug from his bottle and tossing it into the nearby recycling bin. “I’m gonna take off. I’ve got a shift bright and early, and you,” he says, pointing at June, “have your last week of senior year starting tomorrow.”
“God, I don’t want to go. It’s going to drag. I just want to fast-forward to prom.”
“Don’t blame you. School is the worst. Hated every second of it.” He leans in to June, giving her a big hug, then whispers fondly, “Fuck mushrooms.”
June laughs into the crook of his shoulder. “Do not get me started again. I almost peed myself.”
“Don’t want that. You’re officially an adult now. Can’t have you regressing already.”
She swats at him. “Thank you for coming today.”
