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I look around the platform but there’s no Caleb, so I make another quick decision and run up the stairs. I’m going to be late to work, but this qualifies as an emergency, I figure. It’s still damp outside, but the rain has stopped, at least. I can’t see Caleb right away, but unless he’s secretly a wizard, he couldn’t have actually disappeared into thin air.
I step away from the subway entrance, and there he is.
“Ca—” His name dies on my lips as I watch a smiling woman walk up to him. A kid of about nine or ten jumps excitedly up and down. “Daddy!” he yells, so Caleb lifts him into his arms. He throws his arm over the woman’s shoulder and pulls her to him, kissing her cheek. She looks up, smiles, and then says something that makes Caleb laugh out loud.
I slowly turn back around and rush inside before he can notice me.
Fuck, fuck, fuck. My throat is dry as a desert as I try to wrap my head around what I just saw.
This is Oliver all over again. Be nice to the gay guy, so he’ll suck your dick before you go home to the wife and kids. Such an easy and elegant solution, isn’t it?
Lightning doesn’t strike the same place twice? Wrong! Of course it fucking does. Why wouldn’t it? It hit once, so obviously I’m an easy target. For fuck’s sake. Lightning isn’t an idiot, unlike me.
I take a deep breath and try and gather myself. I shouldn’t be this distraught over a guy I’ve stalked in the subway for a month. He’s just some guy. Who the hell cares?
I’m having a really hard time believing myself right now, though. I really thought this was going to be different. That Caleb was different. I haven’t given anybody else a shot since the whole Oliver debacle, but somehow, I’d managed to convince myself Caleb wouldn’t turn out to be an asshole.
Hah! As if that could even happen. I should have learnt by now that I exclusively attract assholes. Oh, they were always nice on the surface. The first layers were all smooth charm, charisma, and nice gestures that hide the rotten core so very well.
And I fall for it every time. Hook, line, and sinker. Unbelievable.
I rub my palm over my face. Caleb had felt different. There was no cockiness or posturing with him. Instead, there had been quiet confidence, and that turned out to be so much worse, because it was a hell of a lot more appealing and a hell of a lot more dangerous.
Caleb’s phone beeps in my hand. I’d almost forgotten I still had it. I don’t look at the screen. Considering my luck, I’d probably end up staring at a sext from Caleb’s wife, or something equally as bad.
I straighten myself and march back down. I pass the phone along to the station booth agent and settle in to wait for the next train.
Ah, fuck me. Now I have to start taking the earlier train in the morning.
6
Caleb
“Parsley!” I roar. “Can somebody get me some goddamn parsley? Is it really too fucking much to ask?”
“Here, chef. Sorry, chef.” Henry drops the parsley down on the counter and skitters out of my sight
“For fuck’s sake, Caleb!” Maggie snaps from behind me. “Stop biting people’s heads off for no reason at all. We have Trent for that.”
I lean forward and close my eyes. Great. Now I’m turning this place into the exact toxic mess of a kitchen I’ve always despised. This whole past week has been a disaster. Everything that can go wrong has gone wrong. Work is a shitshow. I’m distracted and taking my anger out on other people.
“Henry?” I call.
“Y-yes?” He peeks his head out from behind the corner.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell.”
Henry opens and closes his mouth a few times.
“It’s okay,” he says. “We all have shit days, right?”
Henry is a very promising line cook. He’s got good instincts and he’s a quick learner. I really don’t want to sour his working experience by being a dick. Trent is taking care of that for me already.
“Right,” I say. “I’m still sorry.”
He nods and goes back to work.
I turn around and find Maggie looking at me, arms crossed over her chest.
