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“So he told you he wants a relationship. What did you say to that?”
“Nothing,” I mumble.
Rachel lets out a low whistle. “Wow. You’re a real catch. What did he do then?”
“Told me it was all or nothing. To choose.”
“So he did break up with you?”
“No,” I say miserably.
“The guy’s a saint,” Kelly mutters.
“What are you going to do?” Sawyer interrupts. His calm, sure voice makes me look up. Sawyer’s always been a big guy. A giant, compared to the rest of us. Easily over six foot seven, muscles honed in the gym, arms covered in tattoos. He’d look intimidating, but he’s always had a peacefulness about him that seems to affect everybody around him.
I stare at my fingers and the way my nails dig into the backs of my hands.
“Nothing. I’m not going to do anything. I can’t do this,” I say. “I can’t.”
“Why not?” he asks.
“Because it won’t last, okay? Nothing ever does. He’s going to New York at the end of the summer anyway, so why would I just postpone the inevitable? It’s already falling apart.”
Sawyer looks at Rachel, and she moves to the side, which gives Sawyer space to sit down in front of me.
“It’s falling apart because you’re breaking it,” he says gently. “You can’t just kick the shit out of something and then when it’s in pieces in front of you say, ‘See? I told you it was going to happen.’”
I lift my head and stare at him.
He shrugs. “Same logic applies. If you kill the relationship before it can even start, you can’t say it would’ve happened anyway.”
“You don’t get it!” I grit through my teeth. “People leave me!”
“Not everybody leaves,” Sawyer says. “We’re here.”
I deflate like a broken balloon.
I suddenly can’t seem to breathe.
I stare some more before I hide my face in my hands.
“I don’t know what to do anymore.”
“Of course you do,” Sawyer says. “You’re just afraid to actually do it. So get your head out of your ass.”
I look up. “You make it sound so easy.”
He smiles at me. “You’ll do the right thing eventually. You just tend to overthink for a long while, so maybe this time do yourself a favor and cut that part short.”
I thump my head against the wall behind me.
Fucking hell, I think I might be in a relationship.
I think. Unless Ryker’s finally given up on me. No one would blame him if he had.
If it’s worth something, you should fight for it. Take a chance. Make a strong case. Give it your all.
And so far, all the fighting for what matters has come from Ryker.
