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Eli… It was her voice this time. He was sure of it. In his head, she sighed like she always did when she got frustrated with him. Holding on to the painful stuff is only going to keep you stuck in a past you can’t change.
She’d said those exact words when he’d suggested she pull back on riding when they started entertaining the idea of expanding their family. “Just to be safe,” he’d explained.
He’d thought he was past his father’s accident by then. Tess had thought otherwise.
Cirrus nudged the stall door with his nose, and Eli blinked himself back to the present.
“Right,” he told the stallion. “We’re really doing this.”
He dropped his phone in his pocket, then lifted the hat off his head to run a hand through his “overgrown mop.” Maybe he’d have to stop by Boone and Casey’s so his sister-in-law could give him a trim.
Then he sighed, placed the hat back where it belonged, and opened Cirrus’s door so he could lead him outside.
Beth was riding Midnight, the two slow and steady as they rounded the arena when Eli and Cirrus finally emerged.
“I stole your hat,” he told her as she and the mare slowed to a stop.
Beth shook her head. “Actually, I was just returning what I stole.” She tapped the black frame of the sunglasses she now wore and smiled. “This is more my style anyway.”
Eli studied her for a moment, still amazed to see her up on the horse like she’d been born a rider. The fact that he’d tried to keep her from it because of his own damned issues made his chest ache.
“That hat suited you,” he replied. “We’ll just have to get you one of your own.”
He gently looped the reins back over Cirrus’s head so they were ready for a rider. For him.
“You don’t have to,” Beth told him, sensing his hesitation.
“Yeah,” he replied, “I do.” He stroked Cirrus’s nose, and the stallion nuzzled into it. Eli laughed. “Guess you’re more ready for a new rider than we thought you were, huh?” He turned his gaze to Beth. “It’s just like riding a horse, right?”
She laughed. “I think the actual saying is just like riding a bike.”
Eli shook his head. “Not around here, it isn’t.” And before he could overthink it any more than he already had, he stuck his left boot in the stirrup and swung his right leg over Cirrus’s back, landing square in the saddle as if his three-year absence never existed.
His heart pounded, and his throat tightened. The air thinned. Eli couldn’t breathe. Except he was breathing. And Cirrus was breathing.
Being on the back of a horse was breathing.
“Say something, Eli.” Beth’s voice sounded from somewhere in the distance. “Are you okay?”
With one hand on the reins and one holding his hat in place, he closed his eyes, tilted his head toward the sun, and truly filled his lungs with oxygen for the first time in years.
When he’d had his fill… Shit, he wasn’t sure he’d ever have his fill. But when he felt ready, he tapped Cirrus’s flanks lightly with his heels, sidled up next to Midnight, and then turned his horse around so the mare and stallion were head to head, so Beth was within arm’s reach.
He grabbed her hand and leaned toward her, and she did the same.
She pushed her glasses up onto her head so he could see her emerald eyes shining with tears.
“Why are you crying?” he asked. Wasn’t this what she wanted?
She pressed her lips into a smile and reached a hand toward his cheek, her thumb swiping beneath his eye.
He felt the wetness spread across his skin.
“Because I think you’re happy,” she whispered.
He pressed his palm over her hand. “I think I am too.”
He kissed her and kissed her and kissed her, Beth on her mare and he on his stallion.
