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“There’s no way you can make it, right?” she’d asked Delaney. “Tickets are probably so expensive. I’m sorry I didn’t know any sooner. I—”
“Bethy!” her sister had interrupted. “You’re a Rockette! On Christmas Eve! I don’t care if I have to sacrifice Nolan’s—or the yet-to-be-named baby number two’s—college tuition. We. Will. Be. There.”
And by we, Delaney had meant her and Sam. Her sister had already enlisted Sam’s mom to watch her niece.
Even her parents had gotten the front desk at their Vegas motel covered for the night. They were going to take the red-eye back to Vegas as soon as Beth’s performance was over.
“Did you tell Eli?” her sister added, never one to tiptoe around a sore subject.
Of course she’d told Eli. At least she’d told her texting app, and she saw that the message was delivered. Their communication had been good at first. At least once a week, they’d schedule a video chat to fit both of their time zones. It wasn’t the same as seeing each other in person, but it wasn’t the worst. Because it was Eli. Eli. The love of her life.
Except once summer ended and rehearsals began—six hours a day, six days a week, plus Beth’s continued physical therapy—their calls became fewer and farther between. She would go back to her tiny apartment that she shared with one other dancer and pass out only to wake up to a missed call from Eli. When she called him back, she often caught his voicemail more than the man himself.
Soon missed calls turned to sporadic texts, and then it happened. A week went by where they had no contact at all. And now that one week had turned into three. It hurt to think of Eli getting over her, but it had been six months, and she also wanted him to move on, to find happiness with someone who could actually be there for him the way he’d been there for her.
“I told him,” Beth finally replied. “I’m sure he’s too busy to come. But there will be three tickets at will call. Just in case.”
Beth was finishing touching up her makeup for her final number, “The Parade of the Wooden Soldier,” where she was dressed as, well, a toy soldier. Just as she finished filling in the red circle on her second cheek, the phone on her makeup table buzzed with a text.
Eli: Always knew you’d do it. Be the mightiest tonight.
The only time stamp on the message was from when she texted him to tell him about the show. So was the text new? Meaning he’d just responded to her text from almost two days ago? Or was the shitty reception backstage only now pushing through a message that came hours earlier? And why did it matter?
It mattered because if he got the message in time, the one offering him a free ticket to the show, would he have come? Had he been out there the whole time?
Her phone buzzed again.
Delaney: You. Are. AMAZING. Proud sis out here!
Hands shaking, she fired off a quick reply to her sister.
Beth: Did you just send this?
The telltale three dots appeared on the screen and, soon after, Delaney’s reply.
Delaney: YES! Wanted to give you a quick boost before your final number. Luv u!
Okay. That settled it. Eli’s text must have been immediate as well. That was the easiest and most logical conclusion. He was just wishing her luck and probably mixed up the time zones, not realizing the show was almost over instead of almost starting.
If he was here, he would have told her. Or Delaney would have. Because her sister knew better than to surprise her, especially in a high-stress situation. And Beth was pretty sure having not connected for almost a month meant she and Eli were past the point of surprising each other as well. At least Beth knew she’d be terrified to just show up on Eli’s doorstep as if he’d been counting the minutes until she returned. So what if she’d been counting the minutes until she got to see him again?
“You ready, Beth? It’s almost our cue.”
One of the other toy soldiers tapped her on the shoulder.
“Yeah!” she replied, making eye contact with the other dancer via her reflection in the mirror. “Be right there.”
Okay, then. Eli wasn’t here. He’d have texted sooner if he planned to come.
After the holiday season, Delaney offered her an open invitation to come back to Meadow Valley for as long as she wanted, especially with baby number two due in late spring, but Beth still hadn’t made up her mind. Being a Rockette was her dream, but it was only a three-months-a-year gig. She hadn’t quite figured out the other nine. She didn’t think she could be in the same town as Eli and not be with Eli. Not yet. But maybe once the baby came, they’d both be in a better place. Maybe they’d even be friends.
Beth swallowed the knot in her throat.
One more number on what should be the best night of her life. She needed to be in the moment. To not forget this as it might be the only time she took the stage this season.
She closed her eyes and allowed herself one more steadying breath before rising from her chair, smoothing out nonexistent wrinkles in her costume, and heading to her spot in line.
Tears streamed down Beth’s cheeks as the curtain closed on the line of thirty-six toy soldiers sitting in their perfect, trainlike formation after having just fallen in slow motion when the toy cannon went off. The “Toy Soldier Dance,” as she called it when she was a kid, had always been her favorite, and tonight Beth was a toy soldier—a toy soldier Rockette no less—at Radio City Music Hall, on Christmas Eve.
