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“How did that come about?” She jots some notes down on the pad of paper in her lap. She takes copious notes during our sessions, and it’s always made me a little nervous that she has actual tangible records of my random thoughts and past mistakes all tucked away in a white filing cabinet with fancy looking handles. It sits in the corner of the room, mocking me.
“I work with her, actually,” I say. “Her name is Lucy. She’s a nurse at the hospital. We struck up a conversation, sort of a catching up kind of thing.”
“Was that it? Just catching up?”
“No, actually. It was at first. But then it’s turned into more. We’ve actually been spending some time together ... but strictly as friends.”
Gloria gives me a dip of her chin, the universal sign to keep going.
“So, she’s, uh, got this friend who’s sending her daily challenges to help her get out of her comfort zone or something. And I helped her with one, and now ... I’ve somehow been doing them with her.”
I don’t bring up the supply room thing because I don’t want Gloria to tell me that was not a good start to what she’s having me do here. On paper, yes, forging a friendship with a woman who tried to kiss me does sound like a bad idea. But it’s more complicated than that.
It’s only been a week, but I feel like Lucy and I have come a long way since then. I don’t want to start over. Not because it feels hard to start over again with someone else, but because I don’t know if I’d want to do this with anyone but Lucy. In a short amount of time she’s become someone I enjoy being around, in a way I wasn’t sure I was capable of.
I also don’t want Gloria to think badly of Lucy. The whole supply room thing was odd, sure. Knowing the circumstances now, and having seen that competitive streak in her, I understand what she was trying to do. But I don’t know if I could properly explain it all to Gloria.
“A daily challenge? Tell me more about that,” she says.
“It’s simple stuff, like try a different kind of food, learn a new skill, make conversation with a stranger. That kind of thing. Yesterday we had to buy a book from a genre that we don’t usually read.”
That was an easy one for me, since all I read are medical journals. But because we really couldn’t get points for this one, Morgan had us buy each other books as part of the competition. We’re supposed to read the books by the end of the month. I got Lucy a Brandon Sanderson favorite I read years ago, because she’s never read fantasy. And I’m now the proud owner of a book called To Love a Rogue Pirate, because I’ve never read romance. Apparently, it was written by someone who lives in Carson City. On the cover, there’s this model flaunting ridiculously photoshopped abs, and he’s dressed like a pirate. I’m almost certain I saw the same guy as a life-size cutout in the nurses’ station for a few days, until Evie removed it. I hadn’t bothered asking what it was for. According to Lucy, most of the staff have read the book.
I don’t know the score for the challenges, but I think I’m in the lead. I won the one before that—the random act of kindness challenge. I, of my own accord, stocked all the IV carts for Evie. For an act of kindness, it was top tier. Especially considering the person I did it for looks at me like I’m a moron. It was worth it as she almost smiled when I showed her. I swear I saw the hint of one.
Even Lucy had to concede that I nailed that one, although she did it begrudgingly.
“Oh, and I learned how to crochet,” I say, remembering the beginnings of something sitting on my couch. I haven’t gotten far because I have to use YouTube to help me learn what I’m doing, and I keep having to stop and start over. But I’m picking it up, and I actually look forward to it.
Gloria’s eyes go wide at that declaration. “You’re ... crocheting?”
“I’m not very good at it,” I say.
“Don’t say that.”
“No, I mean, I’m really not. I’m not trying to downplay it. But I’ll figure it out.” I’m determined to.
She jots some notes down on her pad, the low hum of the heat coming through the vent the only background noise.
“I like it,” Gloria says. “This is more than what I was thinking for you. My idea was something more casual, but I like this. I feel like, for you, this is an excellent way to be more social in a different way than you’re used to.”
“For sure,” I say. It’s a massive difference. Old me would have laughed in my face if I told him I spent a Friday night baking a cake, and tonight I’m learning to play pickleball. Of course, if I told him I was doing it all with a pretty girl, he would approve. Old me had a one-track mind. I don’t miss that jackass.
Funny how I spent so much time not wanting to be like my dad, and yet, I somehow turned out just like him—womanizing, playing around, hurting people. But that’s why I’m here, to break that cycle.
“Have you felt any discomfort spending time with Lucy?” Gloria asks.
“Discomfort?”
“Yes, I mean in the sense of old habits appearing.”
“Right. Yeah, a little.”
“How?” She writes this down.
I lick my lips. “I’ve had to stop myself a few times from making flirtatious or suggestive comments.”
Although the more time I spend with Lucy, the less I want to do all that. And it’s not because I don’t find Lucy attractive—I definitely do. I just see her in a different light. Maybe it’s because she’s my former best friend’s sister and it makes me feel sort of protective of her. Protective from old me. She doesn’t deserve the man I used to be. I don’t think I will ever be the kind of guy Lucy deserves. That’s okay, though. Friendship is what I want.
