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“Ah.” She nods her head. “I’ve done that a time or two since I started with mine.”
“I don’t like the feeling.”
I know nothing really happened except a couple of hurt noses, but it’s the fact that I wanted to kiss her. So badly. I probably would have, had someone not blown a whistle.
She smiles. “I like to think of it as more of a setback rather than failing.”
“That’s a better way to look at it,” I say.
“It feels easier to fix a setback.”
“True,” I say.
“Do you ... want to fix it?”
“Yes, but the problem with this setback is that it makes me not trust myself.”
That’s the hardest part of this. I feel like I can’t be trusted. By myself, by Lucy. I know she wasn’t pushing away from me; I think if I would have kissed her, she would have kissed me back.
But then what? Kisses complicate things. Kissing Lucy would definitely complicate things.
Maybe I’m broken and incapable of being friends with someone of the opposite sex. Maybe I’m incapable of friendship at all. It was me who ruined things with Kyle.
But the thought of not being around Lucy spawns a hollowness inside me. I’m a thirty-four-year-old man doing these ridiculous challenges, that are more fit for a teenager, because of her, and I’ve never felt happier.
Until today.
“Want my advice?” Jenna asks.
“Okay,” I say, not sure what she can offer since I’ve been pretty vague.
“Fix it,” she says, lifting a shoulder as she says it. “Recommit to doing the assignment.”
I give her a half smile. “That easy, huh?”
“It’s that easy.”
Lucy
Sunday, January 20, 10:17 a.m.
From PlainJane2 to GothamGuardian5:
You’re a guy, right?
From GothamGuardian5 to PlainJane2:
Uh ... yes. Last time I checked.
From PlainJane2 to GothamGuardian5:
Just making sure. You never know on these sites.
So, since you’re a guy, I’m curious. What kind of signals do you give someone if you’re interested in them?
From GothamGuardian5 to PlainJane2:
Usually, I just tell them. Unless I get the vibe that it wouldn’t be well received. If I’m not sure, I try flirting, and see if it’s reciprocated.
