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She leans against my desk, a hand propped on either side, pulling her leather jacket open to reveal the cropped, neon purple sweater beneath that clings to her full breasts and displays that sliver of naturally golden skin. Baggy, ripped jeans hang low on her hips as she stretches her long legs, crossing one Converse over the other. Her demeanor is as unaffected as her voice is, but the way her breath hitches when I meet her eyes gives her away. She can pretend all she wants, but she’s not as apathetic toward me as she wants to appear.
And the relief I feel from knowing that is immediate.
“Ryder and Maddox are meddling,” I tell her, then mutter, “Or torturing me.”
“Why would they meddle?” Her dark brows dip as one of mine rises. She takes a millisecond to figure it out. “You told them?” The words are all but shrieked.
“Don’t be stupid.” I snap out fast, then wish to take them back just as fast, knowing how she probably took it.
Especially when the hurt and disappointment flash in those dark eyes, but it only takes a breath before it turns to anger and resentment. “You’re right. That was stupid. Almost as stupid as I was for being your dirty little secret for so long. Guess when you spread your legs like a whore, you deserve to be treated like one, right?”
Anger ripples through me as I tamp down a volatile shudder. My head rolls around my shoulders, and I fight the urge to bend her over my knee. She knows how I feel about her calling herself that. “Don’t say that. You know that’s not what you were. Ever. I told you we were going to tell them, but then you…” I drag my hand over my face, counting silently to ten. Bringing this up now will help nothing. “And that’s not what I meant. I only meant I don’t discuss my private life. You or anything else. You know that.”
An irritated sound that borders on a muffled scream rumbles in her throat, and her fingers dig into her palms before her head drops. “Doesn’t matter, anyway.” It’s almost a whisper, and I’m sure she’s not talking to me. Defeat emanates from her, and I find myself crossing the distance between us. Her head shoots up before I reach her, and a clear warning in her eyes stops me in my tracks. She pushes from the desk, squaring her shoulders. “I’ll tell Maddox we can’t work together,” she says as she walks past me.
I reach out, grabbing her hand. “You can’t do that.” I should punch myself in the face for the stupid shit coming out of my mouth because I know how she’s taking it, and it’s my own goddamn fault.
“I can do anything I want.” Her eyes pierce right through my heart. Not long ago, even when she was fuming with anger, they always held love. Now…
She hates me. I hope somewhere inside, she still feels a sliver of what she once did, but in her eyes, her voice, there’s only contempt.
She could cut my heart out with a spoon, and it would hurt less.
I should let her go, walk out of this room, and be done. Let her live her life. Except I can’t.
My thumb brushes over the ring on her finger, and my mind flashes to when I first saw it.
Snow blew all around me. The strands of hair sticking from beneath my beanie were probably white. My beard, too. If not for the heat of the fire pits placed strategically around the deck, I would have gotten hypothermia.
I leaned forward in my seat, bringing my bottle of beer to my lips as I watched the merriment through the windows. Everyone smiled and laughed as they celebrated babies, Christmas, and homecomings while I sat alone like some Grinch.
And I watched her. I was unsure when she arrived, but I knew it had been since I came outside. I would’ve noticed the moment she walked through the doors otherwise.
Her eyes shimmered as she picked up her niece, hugging her tightly. Her brother flipped her hair. She laughed, shaking her much shorter hairstyle. No longer to her hips, it sat at a razor-sharp edge at her shoulders.
She looked happy.
I should’ve been glad. All I ever wanted was for her to be happy, but I realized long ago I didn’t want her to be happy without me.
It had been months since I saw her. Talked to her. Been inside her. And every day made the fucking hole in my chest bigger.
Not like I had anyone but myself to blame.
Then, time stood still.
The beer bottle froze halfway to my lips as my lungs seized and my heart beat double time.
All the girls in the house swarmed her as her cheeks flamed red, and a smile teased her lips.
And our eyes locked through the glass.
Her smile dropped. That gorgeous glow dimmed, and her face lost all color.
And I couldn’t stop staring, my eyes jumping from her pallid expression to her hand.
Her left hand.
The one wearing a diamond ring.
