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“Like she belongs.” He lifts his shoulder and nods. “It may be time for your parents to talk to her.”
“Yeah. They’re probably overdue.” He stands and rubs his hands together before blowing in them. “One more question that’s been bugging me.”
“Okay?”
“Did you really think you’d get fired for being with her?”
“You guys are probably the tightest band I’ve ever seen. All bands claim to be family, but with you, it’s true. So yeah, I was worried. One word from you, and the others would follow because you have each other’s backs.”
His head drops for a second before his eyes find mine again, and he sets a hand on my shoulder. “Liam, brother, you are family. You’re like… George Martin. You’re the fifth Beatle.”
I laugh. “There are already five of you. And The Beatles broke up.”
“Yeah, because McCartney was a dick.”
“The world would disagree with you.”
“That’s because Yoko was an easy target.” His lip curls in annoyance, and I roll my eyes. “Okay, well, I’m out. It’s cold as fuck out here.”
“Pussy.”
“Yeah, whatever.” He shoves his hands in his pockets and pulls out an MP3 and a phone. “Before I forget, thought you might need this. I know you have other plans for it besides proving something to Lily. And this is her phone. She left it behind.” I take both and shove them in my pocket. “You should know, after Lily hauled ass, Casey grabbed it and listened.”
My eyes close. She was bound to find out one day. I just… I hate it. “Thanks.”
He nods and goes to a car parked a few feet away I didn’t notice until now, and I head back inside.
By the time I crawl between the sheets, my lids feel like bricks. Feeling strangely lighter despite everything, I pull my little flower to my chest, and within minutes, I sleep better than I have in months.
Lily
Sweat drenches my hair as my eyes fly open. My breathing is short and shallow. If my heart beat any faster, it would take flight. The dream felt so damn real. It was my entire future without Liam.
I was on my knees, begging him for forgiveness. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I latched onto his legs. And he shook me off and walked away as if I weren’t even there.
If the roles were reversed, that’s exactly what would’ve happened. I am unforgiving to my own detriment. It’s how we got here. I couldn’t forgive his indiscretion.
But there wasn’t anything to forgive. Not only did he believe he was calling me that night, they never had sex. His only sin was not telling me about it the next day. Though, I have a feeling Liam didn’t know what happened. Why would he? The fucking psychopath drugged him.
I can only imagine the guilt he lived with until he learned the truth, and instead of talking to him—being there for him—I punished him. Found him guilty without trial. Even if they had, it would have been assault.
I don’t deserve his forgiveness. Part of me worries we won’t move past this because I hurt him. I didn’t trust him, and the truth is, he’s never given me a reason not to. He was always honest. He never made a promise he didn’t keep. Even all the times he promised me we would tell everyone about us, there was never a definitive date behind it, and I realize now it was because he was trying very hard to get past his insecurities.
The man fought for me—for us—for months. His actions showed what he felt—the truth about who he wanted and loved—but I ignored them out of stubborn pride. I turned him away and spat in his face.
And the worst part of everything is it took last night to realize it shouldn’t have mattered what happened with him and Krista. We were not together at the time, and I was the one who walked away. When you call it quits, even if it only lasts a day, you can’t expect someone to never touch another. I’ve often felt people confuse sex and intimacy. Sex and arousal are driven by hormones. It’s science. A physical reaction to the chemicals in our brains. Intimacy is driven by emotion, and those emotions often lead to love.
If I could’ve gotten my head in the game, I would have gone home with that guy that night. I was determined to do just that, even after my meltdown in the bathroom. Then Liam cornered me outside the bathroom, and I couldn’t.
Looking back, it was those moments of intimacy that made me fall for Liam: the late-night conversations about our lives, the tickle sessions—he’s ticklish, not me—while we watched movies and listened to him play and sing as he taught me.
The sex was just a bonus because once I started falling, sex was an afterthought.
Okay, maybe not an afterthought, but you get my point.
The weight of his arm around my waist and the warmth of his body at my back remind me how lucky I am to be here.
I don’t deserve him.
