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Tripp’s eyes met mine then. “Some of you will be assigned a shadow until we are sure the threat no longer exists.” I guess that meant I would have a prospect tailing me if I needed to go anywhere. My classes were already swapped to online only, and I was sure Breakneck would still want me to stay with him at the clubhouse, so it wouldn’t really matter.
We’d spent the last few weeks basically living together. I didn’t foresee him wanting to change that dynamic, which meant I’d probably still be keeping Knoxville at the clubhouse every day. Besides, Christmas was around the corner, just three weeks away, and I figured that Kip and Ashlynn would want to celebrate with their son on his first Christmas by themselves.
“I need all of you to be vigilant. If anyone approaches you, asks questions, trips your trigger in any way and makes you feel off - you will alert a club member immediately. If you feel as though you are being followed or someone is watching you, I want to know about it. This is not the time to second guess your gut instincts. If you have a weird feeling, speak up. If you get strange phone calls, unexpected packages, mail that wasn’t processed through the postal service, or a stranger sliding into your DMs on social media, let us know. If you’re not willing to stay vigilant, then we will find ourselves on indefinite lockdown again.”
There were a round of groans about that and Tripp didn’t bother reprimanding them because the feeling was unanimous. Everyone was tired of living on top of one another. The only people who hadn’t been subjected to lock down were Ashlynn, Star, and her aunt Vivian. That was because they refused. Star had already proven she could handle herself out on her own for five years, while Vivian had just beaten cancer recently and refused on the grounds that there would be too many germs floating around when she was trying to get her immune system back on track. No one ever expected that Ashlynn would agree, since she seemed to hate the club.
“There is a sheet of paper over on the bar near the hallway to my office. Before you leave today, I want everyone’s contact information on it. Let’s get moving and get everyone back home and comfortable.”
I was about to stand and go over to Breakneck when Knoxville started crying. Instead, his diaper change and bottle came first. By the time I was done, half of the families were already gone. They didn’t waste a bit of time getting out of the clubhouse. Not that I could blame them. Living on top of so many people in such a compact space was making everyone stir crazy.
By the time I got Knoxville situated again, Breakneck was not in the common area. After waiting for twenty more minutes for him to come find me, Kip finally showed up and took his son instead. I walked back to the bedroom I’d been sharing with Break, and a feeling of dread bubbled up in my stomach. There wasn’t anyone else in the room with him, but both of my bags were sitting on the end of his bed instead of tucked away in the closet where I’d left them.
“Breakneck?” I called out when I didn’t see him at first. He came out of the bathroom carrying my shampoo that Kip had brought me from his house a few weeks ago when I finally remembered to ask him for it. Breakneck set the bottle down on top of my bags along with my toothbrush.
“Nova,” he started, but I held my hand up to stop him.
“Need the bathroom first,” I explained as I bolted into the utilitarian space and shut the door behind myself. He was kicking me out. Granted, the sex had never been worth gossiping about to anyone - even though it had improved some since the first couple times. I at least managed to have an orgasm most of the time. I thought we were doing okay otherwise. I guess he’d had enough of me, though. I actually peed while I was in the bathroom and then washed my hands before turning to see that there were still those other shampoos and body washes - the ones that clearly never belonged to Breakneck - taking up space in his shower.
The whole time we’d been living together, he never got rid of them. He never removed a single bottle, and yet, he’d made sure to pack mine up for me before he booted me out the door. I heard voices in the bedroom, and while it was obviously Kip speaking to Breakneck, I couldn’t hear what they were saying.
Suddenly, I wondered if I’d have a job when my courage built up enough to allow me to leave the bathroom. Maybe, the club had finally reached their breaking point with my problems, and this wasn’t just about Breakneck getting rid of me. It was about the club cleaning house, so their people would be safe - from me. Well, from the people who were after me, but it was all the same thing.
Finally, I opened the door and stepped out to see Kip frowning while shouldering one of my bags along with Knoxville and his diaper bag. “You ready?”
“For what?” I asked, still waiting for someone to explain exactly what was going on. Kip turned angry eyes toward Breakneck and huffed, as if telling the jerk to man up.
“Figured you’d want to head back to your room at Kip’s place and get away from here for a while. Been cooped up too long,” was Breakneck’s explanation for packing my things up for me without the bothersome part of having a conversation about it first.
What could I say? I couldn’t invite myself to say. I wouldn’t. The thing about being abandoned by everyone who was supposed to love me, was that I knew the signs when I was no longer wanted, convenient, or whatever other force made that person keep me around as long as they did. This was a far shorter stay in someone’s life than I had with my family, but the signs still looked the same. He was dismissing me.
Breakneck pulled me in and placed a quick kiss on my cheek, then he swatted my butt to usher me out ofhisroom. He didn’t even walk us outside, and instead waved from the doorway of his bedroom before shutting it practically in my face.
I drove the baby and myself home while Kip followed on his Harley. Part of me wanted to rant and rave, yell and scream about how unfair it all was. Breakneck was the man I’d been falling in love with - despite the odds stacked against us from the beginning. Apparently, he didn’t feel the same way, otherwise how could he have cut me loose so heartlessly?
When we got to the house, I waited with Knoxville in my arms for Kip to open the door. Once we were inside, he took my bags to the guest bedroom, where I’d been staying before the club went on lockdown. Actually, I’d been put on lockdown before the rest of the club. I walked into my room and looked around. It was the same, but somehow managed to feel different at the same time. If it was possible for a house to no longer feel welcoming, that’s how Kip’s house felt for me.
“Are you okay?” Kip asked as he took his son from my arms.
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Nova, I don’t think…”
“Are you going to need me anymore tonight? Are you going back to the clubhouse for anything?”
“No, I’ll be here.”
“Great, can I just be by myself then. I’d really like to get reacquainted, and I have some school stuff to work on. It’s been hard to keep up with everything going on there,” I explained. It was a complete lie. It was easy to keep up because I had nothing else to do all day. It wasn’t that difficult to watch Knoxville because everyone loved to play pass the baby. The only time I got him back was when his diaper needed changing and once in a while after the novelty of feeding a baby wore off for everyone else.
“Sure. I’ll be around if you need anything, and I won’t leave without telling you. There will be someone here when I’m not, so you don’t have to worry about your safety.”
“Thanks, that’s good to know.”
“All right, yell if you need me,” he said again before he turned and left me alone in my room.
If only pretending were reality. I could say that no tears fell, my heart didn’t semi-break, and I wasn’t worried about being thrown away completely – yet again. My bags remained packed because that worry in the back of my mind wouldn’t settle. It was only a matter of time before I became too much of a liability.
After I took a much-needed nap, it was time to pull myself together and put the pity party away. I wasn't the first woman in history to have a man send her packing and I wouldn’t be the last. Getting a hot shower helped. Well, it helped after I checked the entire bathroom for possible hidden cameras and freaked myself out so much about what might be found that I damn near had a panic attack. Eventually, the heat seeped into my bones and made me feel a little better.
