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Every time I thought of Nova, my orgasm backed off because whether I liked it or not, it bothered me too that I was in here playing these games. After a little more than a month of fucking Nova so vanilla that she wouldn’t complain about it, I needed something more. It was driving me crazy.
Every time I thought about stopping and putting all this shit behind me, I looked to Trench who would offer up quiet encouragement as he stroked his cock to what we were doing. Since he stuffed Mitzi’s face full of his cock while Dee continued to abuse her pussy, I had to keep up my end of things, too. I just needed to not think ofher,and I could get there. Once I got my nut, I would be out. They could keep the toys.
I leaned in and swatted Dee a few more times with the leather straps protruding from her butt plug and then I went hard at fucking her pussy. The need to get off far outweighed my guilt for the moment. I nutted when I was with Nova, but it wasn’t the same. Hell, I fucking loved that girl, but the sex was just boring. Yeah, it got me off, but only just and without all the extra thrill I usually felt.
I pumped harder, slamming into the pussy beneath me until finally, I managed to reach a climax that didn’t fucking satisfy me either. Fuck, Nova managed to ruin this orgasm for me too because I couldn’t stop thinking about her.
I smacked Dee’s ass as I pulled out of her and then tagged in Trench who had been watching us the whole time he’d been choking Mitzi on his cock.
“Gonna go see what Tripp wanted,” I told him as I pulled back, snatched the condom off, and threw it in the trash.
Once I had my jeans fastened up and my shirt pulled back on, I grabbed my leather and headed for the common room. It was the first time I noticed that Tripp had Knox with him.
“How come you have the kid today?” Worry coiled like a furious thing trapped in my stomach at what that might mean because Knox should have been stashed away in Kip’s house with Nova.
“Do me a favor and go look in the mirror,” Tripp tipped his head toward the mirror behind the bar. I shrugged but moved over there, so I could see myself in the damn thing. It looked like I’d been hit with a train. There were dark circles under my eyes, what little hair I had, since I kept it so short, was a mess. Sweat still beaded on my skin from the hard fuck I’d just given Dee. A result of my desperation to get off before I went soft.
A frown pulled the corners of my mouth down the longer I stared at myself. This wasn’t what I thought it would be. Sure, the fuck hadn’t been worth it either, especially since I knew Nova was angry with me for tossing her out of the clubhouse the way I did. She would never understand me telling her that I needed space, time to think, and maybe just a little time to get my rocks off the way I liked, too. Not that it had worked out to well for me when I tried.
The sex, being rough, being with someone who wasn’t Nova was not what I thought it would be. It was then that I realized she hadn’t ruined my experience. The whole thing had been ruined because she hadn’t been the star of that show. I’d had fantasies of using those new toys on Nova, and now, I wouldn’t be able to stomach doing it because even if she didn’t know what I’d just done… Fuck. I’d know that they were used on someone else first, and that in doing so, I’d betrayed her trust and myself, too, in a way.
“Like what you see?” Tripp asked after remaining silent for far too long. I’d almost forgotten he was there.
I shook my head, almost inadvertently. “Can’t say that I do,” I responded honestly. I did not like the person staring back at me. That man in the mirror was a broken fuckup who was bound to lose the only good thing that had come into his life since joining the Savage Vipers.
Tripp’s anger with me registered on a different level then, and when my eyes darted to the reflection of the baby he held, the question came to me again.
“Why do you have Knox? Why the hell did I need to look at myself in the mirror before you’d answer that question?”
“I was only supposed to have him for a few minutes, until Nova could grab him,” Tripp explained. Kip couldn’t keep him over in the garage the hole time his nanny shopped for groceries for the house, so he brought him to me. My son wanted to give Nova some time to shop without his son making the trip three times longer.”
I nodded my head in understanding of why Nova hadn’t been with Knox that morning, but still, there was something I was missing.
Tripp’s knowing eyes burned a fucking hole right down into my soul. I could almost feel the searing pain of something like that happening to me because my gut clenched, and anxiety spiked as what he wasn’t telling me came to life. There was still a little hope that I was wrong, but judging by Tripp’s unrelenting stare, I was about to have my whole world crumble at my feet, and it was no one else’s fault, but mine.
“Guess the prospect helped her with the groceries because she got back here a lot sooner than we expected.” He said before he hit that last nail into my own fucking coffin. “You left Trench’s door open,” he finally said. “You fucking idiot.” Those were the same words he’d said to me earlier. “If you had just closed the door, or not gone there to begin with…”
“What happened?”
“Nova headed back to see you when she got here. She asked if I could keep Knox for a minute, so she could ask you something about dinner before she headed back out. She had something in mind to cook at home, but needed to make sure it wouldn’t ruin your fucking plans.” Tripp shook his head, disappointment dripping from the gesture.
“The door was open when she passed by and heard your voice. It stopped her cold in her tracks. I was all the way over by the bar, but I’d been watching her walk down the hallway and when I saw her stop and then turn to look into that room, I couldn’t move fast enough while holding Knox to stop her from seeing your bullshit on display.”
I’d bet money that if Tripp hadn’t been holding his grandson, he would have knocked me the fuck out right then and there.
“I couldn’t get to her in time to shelter her from whatever the hell she must have seen. Don’t even think she registered that Trench was in there with you at all, since he was moving onto the bed when I leaned in and told you what a fucking idiot you were. She saw what you were doing with the two club whores on that bed and begged me to keep my grandson for a while.”
“Where the hell is she?”
“All the shit that girl has been through over the past year…” Tripp had to get his anger under control before he spoke again. “The last thing she needed was to see her new boyfriend, who had just thrown her out after living together for a month, looking fucking thrilled to death about the kinky threesome, or I guess foursome if she did notice Trench, that he was participating in.”
He shook his head and then let it hang there as Knox tugged at his beard. “I’ve seen devastation on people’s faces before. My VP when he learned his woman had cancer, my own face when I was told what happened to my wife, my kids’ faces when I had to explain that their mother was gone. I’ve seen enough of it over the years to recognize that look. She wore it plain as day. Nova wore her devastation for anyone to see and you’re the one who put it there. Not just today either. The day you sent her back to Kip’s place, she was openly distraught. We all fucking saw it, but now she knows exactly why you were so quick to pack her up and ship her off.”
“WHERE IS SHE?” Rage - at myself, at Tripp for not getting to the point sooner, colored my every word.
“No clue.”
“What do you mean? How can you not have a clue? She’s supposed to be under watch. Who is on her today?”
