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Having her so close to me, having my arms flung over her shoulders and pulling her flush against my body, looking into her eyes like she was mine, made the desire deep in my bones swell so much that it had to come out, like a full pot of water boiling so intensely that it can’t help but overflow.
That spark in her eyes, though, when I had her caged against the wall upstairs, the way the tip of her tongue darted out to moisten her lips when I talked about the sounds she’d make … I could tell that the same desire was lacing through her bloodstream, too. I know it was.
Still, it was wrong.
This is fake. And it has to stay fake. Especially after my sub-par performance in practice today, I know that I can’t afford any distractions from hockey.
Just faking it with Summer is distracting enough, but I don’t have another choice if I don’t want to give up my cat. Actually starting something with her, something real, would be way too big of a distraction.
Because when it comes to Summer, I don’t think I could trust myself to keep things strictly physical.
I can’t let something like that happen again. I can’t cross any more lines. Judging by the defiant look etched on Sean’s face at the party, this fake relationship might have to last a while. I need to exercise self-discipline and not let my real feelings creep in.
I pay for my book and then head to the counter of the café to order a coffee. While the barista pours my drink, my eyes snag on a brownie in the baked goods display case next to the register.
My mouth waters. I think back to that picture in Summer’s room, of her and her mom baking brownies. Brownies were always my favorite thing to bake with my mom, too.
I bet it would feel so good to bite into a big, moist piece of chocolatey comfort after the shitty day I’ve had.
But it would be stupid. I can hear my dad’s voice: food fuels your body and your brain, and you need both to be a decent goalie. Eating junk food isn’t something I should be even thinking about right now.
Luckily, there’s a rack of protein bars right next to the baked goods. I grab one and add it to the order.
I find an empty table and sit down. I crack open the book to the first page, but as soon as my eyes lock on the first word, I freeze. Something I saw in my peripheral vision screams out into my subconscious.
I poke my head up from the book and look around the seating area. Then I see Sean.
He’s sitting a couple tables to my left, headphone over his ears and typing away at his laptop. Probably working on an essay or something.
The whole point of what Summer and I are doing is for him to see us together, acting naturally like any real couple would.
I fish my phone out of my pocket and send Summer a text.
At Last Word. Sitting in the café. Sean’s here. Want to come by so he sees us together?
My chest flutters when I see the bouncing bubbles on her side of the screen indicating that she’s typing. I press my tongue against my inner cheek, realizing that if she says she’s busy, I’m going to be disappointed.
Then her response pops up on my screen, telling me she’ll be here in a couple minutes.
The excitement that beats in my chest in response should really concern me. This is fake, and I just got finished telling myself that I can’t let any real feelings seep into this.
Whatever. I’ve had such a shitty day up to now. I decide to surrender to a good feeling.
When Summer walks through the front door, do I stay seated and wait for her to walk over to my table?
No way. I make a show of it. I’m on my feet in an instant, striding towards her, measuring my steps in relation to hers to make sure that we’re standing right in front of Sean’s table when I wrap my arms around her and pull her close.
In my peripheral vision, I see him lift his head up. I don’t need to glance to the side to know that he wears a scowl when I dip to plant a kiss on the top of Summer’s head.
The strawberry scent of her hair fills my nose, and I’m no longer longing for that brownie I denied myself, because the scent is sweeter than any sugary treat.
“It’s been too long since I’ve seen you, babe,” I say, like an actor on stage with the audience of one to my left.
She giggles. “We saw each other this morning.”
“Exactly. Too fucking long.”
Not even sparing Sean a glance, acting like he isn’t even here, like this is just what we’d be doing together as a couple even this whole place were empty, I wrap my arm around her and guide her to our table.
