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“The body went missing from the morgue,” I replied, my mouth pressed thin. “I’m suspicious of any death certificate without a body.”
Careful of waking Vasya, I reached for the brown file under my laptop, marking the growing unease in Jonathan’s eyes.
“You think he’s still around?” he asked.
“I think Gentian knew a valuable secret he’s held onto for years, because he knew it would motivate me.”
“I don’t want to know it,” Jonathan said, glowering at the file in my hand. “Rose is a good person, a friend, too, and Eli’s Eli. Whatever is in there, I don’t want to know.”
I nodded. “I won’t involve you.
“Thanks,” he muttered, heading for the door now. “Don’t get shot again.”
“I won’t.”
“Or stabbed.”
“I’ll avoid it wherever possible.”
Jonathan grunted and left, so I cracked the file open and took a deep breath before flicking through pages, searching for anything the Gent had—marked.
“Shit,” I breathed, ice dripping down my spine.
“Damien?” Vasya murmured sleepily, propping her head on my chest to look at me—avoiding the places I’d been wounded I noticed. My chest filled with warmth at the way she took care of me. She’d been doing it more and more, especially since I lost my damn mind four weeks ago. It fulfilled something I didn’t know I needed, not just to take care of someone but have them take care of me in return.
“What’s wrong?” she pressed when I didn’t speak.
I stared at the ceiling above us, at the sunlight glimmering through the crystal chandelier I stole from Finch. “The night I was in the ballroom, I told you I was there because my uncle had a file he was holding over me.”
“About Rose, I remember,” Vasya replied, her voice scratchy but her eyes more lucid now. She carefully pushed off my chest, rubbing her eyes, and noticed the brown paper file in my hand. “Is that it?”
I nodded, eyeing the file. “I was expecting to find out someone we thought dead was alive, and this doesn’t exactly disprove that but—there’s something else.”
Vasya drifted gentle touches down my uninjured side. “Something bad?”
I nodded. “I have to tell Rose. But Eli—fuck, I don’t think I can tell him this. He’ll go off the handle.”
Vasya’s eyes widened. “He’s notalreadyoff the handle?”
“At any given moment, Eli is very delicately balanced between sanity and a rampage. If he knows what’s in this file, he’s going to lose it completely. I don’t think anything will pull him back.”
Sympathy lay heavy in her chocolate eyes and for a moment I fell deep into them, the whole world disappearing. But it slammed right back into me when paper rustled, and dread tightened my chest.
“Rose is coming tomorrow, right?” Vasya asked, caressing her thumb over my cheek. When I nodded, she said, “Then worry about this tomorrow. You only got out of hospital yesterday, and the last thing you need is to be stressed. Will you tell me what’s in the file?”
“I can’t. It’s not my secret to tell,” I said, surprised by the hoarseness of my voice.
I didn’t like to think about it—the things Rose went through or the ways Eli had been hurt. I was naturally protective of my friends, but I’d rather not remember whyI wasextradefensive of those two. Jonathan had been through shit, too. So had Stef and Elowyn in their own ways. But it was different. This shit had haunted me since Rose tried to take her own life and told me every moment that had driven her to it.
Eli didn’t talk about his life before he joined the family.
Ever.
“I wish I could tell you,” I murmured. I didn’t want to carry this shit on my own, but it was better than the thought of telling Rose tomorrow. God, what was I gonna say to her?
“I would normally never allow this,” Vasilisa murmured, brushing a kiss over my stubbled jaw, “but I can see your mind running too fast.”
My mind slammed on the brakes when she slid her body down mine. Fingers hooked around the waistband of the grey sweatpants I’d left the hospital wearing, and clued me in to her intentions.
