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Instead, he tilts his head to the side and smiles, “So, yousaw him across the room and just felt it, huh?” And he’s serious. It’s not teasing and it’s not playful. It’s real.
I shake my head. “I didn’t know what I felt. I was confused.”
“I’m not angry, Sonia.”
“Well, you should be. It was a mistake. And whatever happened between your dad and me wasn’t real. It was misguided, and we were…”
I huff. “I don’t want to talk about the details. I just need you to know that it wasn’t my intention to hurt you by doing what I did. I was just being…selfish.”
But I wasn’t being selfish. Not really. If I had been selfish, I wouldn’t have resisted for so long. If I was being selfish, I should have wanted Edwin for his money or his looks. If I was being selfish, I wouldn’t have cared about anyone’s feelings but my own.
What happened between Edwin and me is…inexplicable.
I know one day the memories will be fond and dear to me. Right now, though, I want nothing more than to erase them from my mind.
Because as soon as it may be, for me, Edwin is already the one who got away.
“You’re not a selfish person, Sonia.”
“People change, Nate.”
27
EDWIN
I shouldn’t be listening,but I am. To everything Sonia says.
And it breaks my heart to know that for the past two weeks she has been convincing herself that what we had was nothing.
Because for the past two weeks, I have been learning to accept that it was everything.
With Nate’s forgiveness and our new bond, I have realized exactly what Sonia means to me.
A chance at the life I always wanted.
When Nate told me Sonia was coming over to speak with him to make amends, as arranged by Bridget, I was going to stay away. That’s what Sonia wanted. She only needed to deal with one Lyons man at a time.
But it was Nate who convinced me that I should come see her too.
“She’ll probably be annoyed because Bridget asked me to make sure you weren’t home, but…” Nate ran his hands through his blonde hair that was growing shaggier by the day. “You two should talk. I’m sure there are things you need to say.”
I was stunned by the emotional intelligence of my son. He didn’t get that from me, that’s for certain. And also the fact he has been willing to rise so far above what he first perceived to be a betrayal.
“I can tell that you miss her. Every time her name is said, you look so bereft. Like–”
“Like a lost puppy?” I forced a smirk.
Nate frowned and shook his head. “Like you’re heartbroken.”
And that’s the truth, isn’t it? My heart is broken without Sonia in my life.
I thought I would have to choose between my son and the woman I am falling in love with, maybe even love already. But my son is a bigger man than I have ever been. So, I don’t have to.
Now, I’m here to tell her that not a day goes by where she isn’t my first and last thought. And every thought in between.
Hearing her say that what we had was “nothing,” though, breaks my heart.
I retreat to the front hall, sliding my hands in my pockets. Serves me right for listening in on them.
