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Because of a need. Sometimes a need greater than our own understanding.
I’m not empathetic to Farley because of this. In fact, I loathe him deep in my blood-boiling soul. But I can understand. Just a little.
“It will all be alright. I will deal with it. All of it.” That is a promise.
Her hands press into my back. Tight. Almost like she’ll never let go.
32
SONIA
“I wanted to say goodbye.”
I cross my arms over my chest and stare at Farley.
We are in the atrium of Lyons Pride. Almost half a year ago, I was here in my white dress, picking up my mask for the masquerade that changed my entire life, Farley wrapping his arm around me, welcoming me to the team.
“I…know it might take some time to forgive me…” His hands slide back and forth around the handle of his suitcase. “But I really had planned for them to break in the old-fashioned way. Not use you to–”
“Once you’re done trying to justify their actions, then I’ll forgive you, Farley.”
His eyes widen, and then he tries to smile but fails. “I guess that’s fair.”
Hands sliding back and forth on his suitcase handle still, eyes to the floor, he adds, “Thank you so much for talking to Edwin on my behalf. I was so sure I was going to be locked away for the rest of my life.”
“Yeah, well, jail wouldn’t help, and this facility for immersion in cognitive behavioral therapy might.”
Farley’s been struggling with addiction. He’s spent all his money on cocaine and party drugs and got himself into somewhat of a debt. A weekend’s worth of cash from Lyons would be enough to let him start over.
“Again, I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking, but my drugged ramblings with my friends turned into half-assed plans that got you hurt, and I will never forgive myself for that.”
Farley isn’t a saint, but he’s not a devil either.
“I want the best for you, Farley.” I give him a small smile. “Regardless of everything, I want you to get better.”
He smiles at me, a tentative pull of his lips, and rolls his eyes. “Aren’t you a sweetheart?”
A car pulls up, visible through the big glass doors.
“Well, that’s my ride.” He spreads his arm. “Hug?”
“Fine.” There was a time when I thought of him as my friend after all. Maybe someday I will again. He’s the one who gave me the chance to come here, brought me to Edwin.
We hug. It brings tears to my eyes.
“Alright. Well, I’ll see you on the other side.” Farley puts two fingers to his brow and then salutes me. His eyes lift to the staircase above for only a moment. His smile fades.
I look up. Edwin stands above, looming with a vacant expression. He doesn’t need to do anything extra to intimidate, he just does.
Farley hurries out of the atrium to the car that is taking him upstate to his treatment center.
Edwin comes down to meet me, his hand feathering my cheek. “You alright?”
“Yes, I think that was good.”
“Good. I’m glad.”
Both of us look into the open door of the nightclub. It’s the middle of the day, which means all the activity is in the members’ club, not here. The emptiness sends a bit of anxiety through my chest.
