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That made it way too easy for me to walk away.
When I put Abigail down, I take a step forward only to find the front hall is empty, aside from us. “Where’s…”
Abigail grabs my arm.
Fuck.
“He changed his mind, Daddy. I’m sorry.”
My jaw ticks. I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve cried as an adult man, but Nate is close to bringing me to my breaking point.
“He knows I want to make amends, right?”
“I’ve told him, Daddy.” Abigail shrugs. “He’ll come to you when he’s ready.” She heads into the kitchen where she greets Jack.
I stare into the empty hall. My whole body sags.
I wish I could crawl into a hole and never come out again.
Everyone just pushes me away. I’ve believed for so long that I deserve it. But isn’t it possible for people to change?
Can’t I show myself to be worthy of love again?
Jack pokes his head out of the kitchen. “Dad, I’m hungry, can we order?”
I clap my hands together.
Though my kids are adults, I still have to put on a happy face for them. I’m their dad. Dads are strong.
And I know the more I throw myself into giving them attention, the more Nate will drift into the background.
He’ll never fade away, though.
Just like Sonia, I can feel Nate’s presence. He’s in New York. And I just wish he’d make himself known to me. Give me one chance to prove to him that I’m ready to be the dad I should have always been and hear him out.
“Okay! Who wants anchovies?!”
My children’s collective groan is music to my ears.
8
SONIA
I runmy fingers along the fern’s leaf, admiring its vivid green color as it drinks up all the water from my watering can.
It’s a pleasant Thursday afternoon in the club. That’s when traffic starts to pick up for the weekend.
Monday through Wednesday, things tend to be quiet. But as the Lyons Pride comes to life up above for Thirsty Thursday, so does Lyons Club. And with it, The Underground.
At least, that’s what I’ve picked up from my first three weeks at the club.
While my job involves a lot of heavy lifting when it comes to making sure all the wings of the club are working as they should, I quite enjoy it. It keeps me busy.
My only catch is that I don’t get to see Edwin that often. Or almost at all. And I hate myself for being disappointed about it.
Whenever Idosee him, he’s engaged in serious talks with members or off to enjoy a swim.
His jaw is set so tight at all times, his obsidian gaze sohardened that I find it impossible to ever interrupt to even say hello.
