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However, it’s out of my control. Being the only one clinging onto that memory would be pathetic.
I need a new way to make myself worth something.
And maybe the club is that. Maybe I take a page from Sonia’s book. Push myself closer to my dad. To my roots.
There was a time in my life where my upbringing was only pain. California protected me, swallowed me in her white capped waves and sandy beaches.
Now, though, I’m home. And who has swaddled and protected me? Dad.
And Laney, sure. But Laney will leave. I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s part of the reason she is avoiding me, trying to figure out her next job since her patient has recovered with flying colors.
I’m not going to be just a patient anymore. I’m going to be more.
Laney appears in the doorway clad in burgundy scrubs, hair swooped back into a ponytail. She gasps when she sees me standing there, looking through the open door. “Hey, you’re up!”
“Y-yeah, I heard you coming, so I–” I clear my throat. “Time for our exercises?”
She smiles, almost like an apology. “You got it.”
It is systematic now. We don’t chatter. I just get down on my yoga mat and follow her instructions, her gentle guiding hand from time to time brushing up against my knee.
I can’t take the silence much longer, though. So, I say what’s on my mind. “I need a job.”
“Is there something I should know about your dad’s bank account?”
I grimace.
“It’s a joke.”
“I know,” I say, which is a lie. “My dad’s bank account is fine. I just… Need a job.”
Laney’s hand idles on the back of mythigh while my left leg hovers in the air in a tabletop position. If only she’d slip it down a little further, then I wouldn’t have to be talking about this job bullshit.
“What kind of job?”
“Like at the club,”
She guides my leg back down. Before she can move to the other one, I sit up quick as a flash. I don’t want her touching me anymore. It will just cloud my mind, make me feel things I don’t want to be feeling when she’s created so much distance between the two of us.
“It’s what my dad has always wanted.”
“I thought you didn’t want that, though.”
I shrug. “Maybe I do now.”
Laney is quiet.
I open my mouth to say something more, but my breath leaves my body when Laney’s hand lands against mine.
I raise my eyes to hers.
She’s smiling, again with that apology just behind her teeth. “I think that’s a great idea.”
I’m sure you do.
I can’t get a job out of spite for her. That doesn’t make any sense. I’m going to recover. Hell, I am recovered. And unless I want to be some dandy heir to a fortune, I’m going to need to make myself useful. I don’t want to follow Jack to Wall Street or go back to school to get a skill like Mason.
“The club…” I begin. “It’s always been meant for me.”
