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I eat some ice cream to avoid being the one to speak next.
“I haven’t heard much about your trip,” Edwin says. “Was everything alright?”
My stomach knots itself. “Yeah, it was great. Beautiful.”
His eyebrow rises. “Yeah?”
I’m not sure why he seems surprised. It’shiscabin. He knows how beautiful upstate New York is. “You came to talk to me in the kitchen at midnight about the trip, Edwin?”
He runs a hand through his dark hair. “Sorry, sorry. No. I mean, yes, but mostly no.”
I narrow my eyes.
Edwin Lyons is the most put together person I know. He never stumbles over his words, never acts like he doesn’t have it together.
So, I have to wonder what the hell he really wants to talk about?
“I want to talk about Nate.” Edwin’s dark eyes meet mine across the kitchen island.
I perch on the edge of a stool, take a spoonful of ice cream, lift it to my mouth in a tentative fashion. I won’t let my inner turmoil betray me in this moment. However, since arriving back in New York, I’ve been feeling like I’m going to combust.
It was that stupid car ride home, that goodbye kiss to Mason followed almost immediately by a kiss to Nate’s lips.
Being in the car with Nate, I was feeling pulled. Back toMason. Wishing he was there with us. And yet, at the same time, felt so comfortable in Nate’s presence. In his aura.
How can I feel an equal pull toward each of them?
I decided upon our return that I had to cut it off at the legs. It’s one thing to experiment away from society, have weird kinky fun in the woods. It’s a whole other thing to putwhateverwe were doing into practice, bring it back to our actual lives.
It’s why I avoid Nate at all costs, other than our work together, of course. It will be easier when I walk away.
“His progress. He’s doing well, yes?”
This could be my chance to tell Edwin what I’ve been thinking for the past week.
Nate doesn’t need me anymore. He can continue physical therapy, but he doesn’t need a live-in.
He doesn’t need me.
“He’s doing great,” I say.
Edwin nods.
Edwin doesn’t say anything more.
And I’m not sure what to do.
His dark eyes observe me in the dark in a way that makes me shiver in fright. The Edwin Lyons I heard stories of years ago was a tyrant of a man. The man I’ve lived with for half a year, the one desperate for his son’s recovery, is nothing like that.
However, in his gaze right now, I can see how his kindness could change.
“If he wants to start working at the club, I think that’s a great idea. I think he’s ready to be more than just a patient. He knows it. We all know it….” Deep breath. “My work at this point isn’t nearly has necessary as it once was. Nate is walking. At the cabin, he was able to hike and swim and…well, I just don’t think he needs me here anymore. I’d recommend PT sessions once a week, maybe with someone new because–”
“You’ve found a new job?”
“Not yet.” And it is the truth.
I’ve been putting off getting into contact with my boss about beginning the assignment process because a part of me still won’t let go. However, putting out the energy into the universe might make it easier to walk away.
