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Nate lays me down on the covers and removes my shoes.
I would resist further if I knew it wouldn’t upset him.
“All you’ve done for the past week is ignore me, and I’m tired of it, Laney,” he murmurs.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize.”
I close my eyes. What does he want, then?
A heavy blanket is spread over my body.
I let out a deep breath, one I’ve been holding since I saw Mason in the front hallway.
Nate’s footsteps echo through my room. Then the door creaks open.
“Where are you going?”
Nate stops with his back to me. His butt looks so good in these pants, which is literally not the point right now. Just add it to the list of reasons I’m fucked up.
I can be in an argument with someone, and I’m still sexualizing him.
“I’m going to get you your Red Bull. And then I’m going to go to work. Alright?”
“You don’t have to do that,” I croak.
Nate glances back at me. His expression is pained. “Don’t you get it, Laney? Iwantto.”
It doesn’t matter what anyone says or how many times they say it or even how earnest they are. I can’t hear his words without complete and utter confusion. “Why?”
Nate smiles but says nothing before he goes.
The door shuts behind him, and I’m left in the cool afternoon light.
My eyes flutter shut. And rest…rest is what I need right now more than anything.
My brain can’t take any more of my own bullshit, the havoc that is my life.
Maybe in sleep an answer will come. Maybe in sleep, I will find a way to leave everyone behind.
They’ll be better for it.
31
NATE
When I return home,the Red Bull is no longer outside Laney’s room, though her door is still closed. I don’t go bother her, though there’s nothing more I’d like to do than curl in bed with her.
Turns out even a half day at the office is exhausting for someone like me, who not only hasn’t been out of the house much over the past six months, but also hasn’t held a real job in years.
After checking on Laney, I join Dad and Sonia in the kitchen where Dad is unwrapping the takeout Chinese we grabbed on the way home.
“So, what’d you think, Nate?” Sonia asks.
“About what?” I’m distracted. Laney at the back of my mind. And the front of it.
“About the day, of course.” Sonia beams.
