Page 22 of Until I Keep You

“That’s easy for you to say.” I grit my teeth.

“Sorry for running out, everybody.”

I turn on my heel to see Laney reemerging into the dining room.

There is a slight slickness to her hairline, and she’s paler than before. But she attempts to smile as if nothing happened.

Sonia sneaks in behind her, gives me a little look. Then Nate.

I think it’s my turn to run out of the room. I feel sick.

“You alright?” Nate asks before I can.

Laney nods, her lips forming a plush smile. For him.

I try to look away, try to imagine sitting back down in my spot, dealing with the soup of cake and ice cream on my plate, maybe even managing some idle conversation and laughter. But I can’t.

When did I become someone who runs?

Three years ago. When I left New York with Nate. Because of Laney.

All I do is run because of her. From her. Doesn’t she know how much I want to runtowardher?

“I’ve got to head out.” I give the room a curt nod. “Have some last-minute updates I have to make to a design and want it done before tomorrow morning, so…”

My eyes land in Laney’s. Pacific-ocean blue. I’m doomed to see those eyes everywhere I go. “So, thanks.”

Laney’s eyebrows raise, and while others try and get me to stay, her gaze remains pinned to me.

Finally, I can get her to look at me. But only when I’m walking away.

“Happy birthday, man. Congratulations on your first steps.” . I hold out my hand to Nate with a genuine smile.

We can remain civil. We can remain grownups.

I can do this.

Nate takes it, and we shake on it. “Thanks, Mason.”

I snatch my hand back, give everyone a last wave, and dart out of the Lyons penthouse, just as I’m always wont to do.

I walk home in the February chill, hoping it will settle my insides, make me get a grip. But it doesn’t.

Once I enter my apartment, feel the heat on my skin, I’m reminded of how far Laney’s body is from mine. The heat of her curves and her mouth and her hands.

And I break. I just fucking break.

6

NATE

After cake and ice cream,everyone spreads around the penthouse in sugar comatose states.

I continue practicing my steps, grabbing onto things as I go to at least indicate to others this is something new even though behind closed doors, by myself, it’s not new at all.

Mason’s sudden exit didn’t do me any favors.

In fact, Laney hasn’t said a word to me since.

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