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MASON
I can’t focus.
Not on work. Not on life.
The only thing on my mind is Laney. And Nate. Alone together. In a fucking cabin in the woods.
They’ve been there almost a week. And I have no doubt that all of the obvious building tension between them has come to a head.
I tense my hand around my pencil, trying to ground myself back in reality as I work on my latest design at my drafting table.
Why am I so focused on their lives when I should be focused on mine? Doing my work, getting out there. Hell, maybe downloading an app and going on a couple of dates.
The thought makes me sick, though. That would mean I’m giving up. On Laney.
On Nate too.
Laney and Nate both hold such special places in my heart. Though it pains me to think of them right now, I still can’t ignore that I love them in very different, yet importantways.
Nate, my best friend since before we can even remember. The guy I followed out to California, lived with, supported through his breakup with Sonia. The guy who supported me through my own breakup. The guy I always imagined would be the best man at my wedding, godfather to my children. If, by the very slim chance, I ever found someone to make a life with.
And Laney. My first love. Probably my only, considering how pathetic I’ve been about this whole thing.
She’s made it clear I’m not the one for her. With her actions. With space. With time.
My free hand travels up to the necklace against my chest. The metal is warm from my skin.
I twist it around in my fingers.
Why can’t I bear to take this thing off? Why can’t I shed her once and for all?
I dip my head forward. “Fuck.”
My whole body is shaking with tension.
It hurts. It aches. Knowing that Laney has given up on me to be with my best friend.
I might not know any of that for sure, but I’m not one to kid myself. I can read the writing on the wall.
The hand around my pencil suddenly gives, the wood snapping in my hand. It scrapes up against my skin before thumbling onto the drafting table.
“Fuckinghell!” I yell and get to my feet.
I run my hands through my hair as I begin to pace my office.
This isn’t working. Forgetting Laneyisn’tworking.
I grab the necklace again and begin to tug to rip it off once and for all. It’s like a collar holding me to the past, tethering me to her despite everything she’s put me through.
I can’t do it, though. Like there’s another ethereal hand,clapped on top of mine, keeping me from pulling with the strength I need to remove the necklace.
I close my eyes, a flash of Laney’s face from my memory before me.
I open the door for Laney, give her the last kiss goodbye, which always ends up being three or four or eight kisses. It’s so hard to let go of her. Especially after a night in, watching movies and eating pizza when all I want is to take her back to my bed and wake up next to her.
But Laney’s a good girl. She’s got work in the morning, and she loves her job. I admire her so much for that.
I step back to keep myself from starting something I can’t finish. “Okay. Goodnight, Laney.”
