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“Sure thing.”
His eyes were wide, blinking up at me, and I almost didn’t have the heart to do it, but after the previous day, I felt it was important.
I sat with him on the edge of the bed and held his hand in mine, though my big hand swallowed his. I saw that, how much bigger I was, older, his dominant, and it occurred to me not for the first time how much I wanted to protect him.
“Joel, baby, you mean everything to me and Damon. That’s first. We love you, really and completely.”
“I love y’all too.”
“I know. Well, part of us loving you is we want to help you, make things better for you. Sometimes that means discipline. When you start your day with submission, sometimes it can help you focus better, it can help you remember your role in our life, and it reminds you also that you have us. For anything. It’s not about sex, discipline, but it’s about love, and submission.”
“A’righty then. What we doin’?”
He was so willing, so open to everything, it was endearing as it was beautiful. “Spank you.”
His eyes widened. “And it ain’t a punishment?”
“We told you, that’s not how we’ll punish you.”
“Right, right.” He looked at our clasped hands and squeezed mine a little. “I figure, maybe I need it. The focus stuff. My mind’s all a mess right ‘bout now.”
“I thought it might be. This isn’t in anger; you did nothing wrong. I want to make sure you know that.”
He grinned at me with that way he had, a little goofy, sweet. “I know that. I’m tryin’ my best to be good for y’all.”
“And you are. You’re very good, Joel.”
“I, uh, get on yer lap?”
“We can do that, sure.”
He shrugged and let go of my hand before he moved himself right over my lap, his legs hanging to the floor, his head and arms on the bed. “It gonna hurt like fire?”
“It might, yeah,” I said, unable to stop from snorting a laugh. “But I’ll try to refrain.”
“Nah. Have at it.”
We hadn’t experimented with pain as much as we would have liked, but we had time. We had our lives. I rubbed over his perky little cheeks, warming them some. Plus, I just really loved feeling up his pretty ass.
The first smack was light compared to how hard I wanted to bring down my hand, but the second came right on the heels of the first and it was harder, making my boy jump and holler. “Dang! That was some fire!”
“Shush, Joel. Take it silently.”
“Oh. A’righty then.”
I started in on him, and I felt a peace come over me that I would have a hard time describing to anyone that had never taken a dominant role over another willing to submit to them. Joel jumped and I heard him sniffle, but he held his cries as I’d asked, and I beat his cheeks pink, then red, going until my own hand hurt.
It was a thousand times more intimate than sex, the connection of that kind. I was handing Joel my pain, and he trusted me in taking it. I was taking from him his submission, his trust, his love as he gave it, lying over my lap. I felt it in my chest, the weight of it, the heavy responsibility, the needs of my boy. It was something I’d dreamed of, and there it was, on my lap. My beautiful boy.
My hand burned, but I lay it on Joel’s right ass cheek when I was finished, and he cried silently, so I brought him up and into my arms, holding him there while he wept. He sniffled and I handed him a tissue from the box on the bedside table, and once he’d blown his nose and wiped his eyes, he graced me with a beautiful smile. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Can I get dressed now? I gotta get to work.”
“You’re going to Noah’s this morning, right?”
“Yessir.”
