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“It’s hard to explain. She was… She could have been anything. After my money. After anything.”
“She sounds wonderful to me. And if she’s at one of the most prestigious weddings of two very famous people, she can’t be that poor. Or that in need of rich friends. From what I know about Jack and Juno, they take care of their friends. If she was Juno’s friend and genuine to Juno, why would she need to dig for gold anywhere else? Especially if she’s getting herself jobs on similarly prestigious projects as you.”
Henry had a point, and I deflated and nodded. It was better if I let him see that calm my mind, even if, for some reason, it didn’t. Something was up with Kit, and I couldn’t put my finger on what.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Kit
Five more days had passed since I’d confirmed with Sarai that I wanted to be in on her project, and I was now drowning under a mountain of work and paperwork. I didn’t know if I was coming or going, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to sign on when it would be this complicated.
I knew I should get myself a lawyer, someone who could go through all of this and make sure that I knew what I was doing and wasn’t signing my life away, but I didn’t know any.
In the past, Juno had always sorted these things out for me, able to write a decent contract herself and knowing enough law to make sure it was watertight. She was still on her honeymoon, however, and Sarai wanted to know what the holdup was in getting the paperwork signed.
When I looked at the pay part and the first figure I would get upfront, it was tempting to go ahead and sign the forms without hesitation. Sarai was going to pay me more just to get started on the project than I had ever been paid for a single design. For a whole year of designs.
And that was only the upfront payment. There would be more at specific milestones, and I wouldn’t have to worry aboutcosts. I wouldn’t have to buy anything, just instruct what would amount to an assistant to buy whatever I thought was necessary. And I’d be living in accommodation near the site with all meals provided.
In short, I was going to be in the lap of luxury for at least a month or so, and I was going to be paid to enjoy myself. Given I also loved what I did, it was the chance of a lifetime. But I couldn’t shake the immense amounts of anxiety I felt about it anyway.
This was also something I could totally screw up. There were clauses upon clauses in the contract for all sorts of eventualities, and I was worried that if I didn’t do a good enough job, I could walk away with nothing but debt. And I couldn’t figure out if that was the case or not.
I put the contracts down and exhaled, feeling my vision blur and my palms go sweaty. Close to a panic attack, I got up and started walking back and forth, counting my steps across the room and then back again. At the same time, I ran my fingers along the rough band around my wrist.
It didn’t seem to work at first, my body nowhere near calm enough. Slowly, the counting broke through the fear, and I could think rationally again. This wasn’t a huge hurdle. I just needed to think of the right person—other than Juno—who was clever enough to have some idea what all this said.
After pacing a little longer and getting my mind as calm as I could, I sat down again and looked through my phone contacts. There had to be someone who knew business well enough to interpret it a little. I could have smacked myself when I got to Matt and Stacy. Of course Matt would have some idea.
I quickly dialed the number and waited to see if he was home.
“Kit, what can I do for you?” Matt asked as soon as he picked up. “Need help getting some projects finished so you can go on your big adventure?”
“Not project help as such, but I could definitely do with some assistance with a problem.” I felt relieved already. Why hadn’t I just asked for help sooner? But in the back of my mind, I knew why. I wanted to be capable. I wanted to be better than I was. So many times, I hadn’t been good enough, and I’d been made to feel like an idiot.
Asking for help wasn’t easy. Admitting I wasn’t good enough yet again. But Matt seemed to understand.
“Contracts can be awful. I’m glad you’re asking for backup. No matter how much you think you know what they’re saying, getting a second pair of eyes from someone detached who can consider all the ways it might go wrong is important.” Matt was so calm and respectful, giving me the benefit of the doubt that I understood it and offering to be an extra pair of eyes.
He offered to come over right then and there, saying he had nothing going on that evening, and I felt even better. I told him to bring Stacy and that I’d buy dinner afterward as a way to celebrate after the contracts were signed.
“Let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves. There’s a small chance you won’t sign these. We’ll sort dinner out after, whether that’s a commiseration dinner or a celebration dinner.” Matt hung up, leaving me with just under half an hour to clean my apartment and get it ready for guests.
If nothing else, it kept me from panicking too much, but it didn’t keep me from thinking about my other problem with this project. I wouldn’t be doing it alone. Although Sarai hadn’t confirmed it for sure or brought it up since I’d first been told about it, I knew Lukas was likely to be working on this project as well.
Could I run the risk of bumping into him again? Part of me wanted to. No matter what had happened and how much I felt I’d screwed it up the first time, I wanted to try again. There was just something about him. I liked being in his world. He movedand spoke with an assurance. A confidence that helped me be calm around him.
Every moment I had with him, I’d felt safe. Protected, even. It was as if I knew he had everything under control, and I could just let go and be.
I’d never felt quite like that with anyone else.
Thankfully, Matt arrived, with Stacy not far behind him, before I could talk myself out of the whole thing again. Lukas hadn’t felt the same way about me. I was almost sure of that.
Although Matt got straight to business and looked through the contracts for me, I got to sit with Stacy. She had just started a new job, too, and we spent the time talking about it. Now and then Matt interrupted to get me to clarify one or two things, but for the most part, we were left to talk and catch up.
“Tell me about this guy,” Stacy said when she had run out of things to say. “Sounds as if he was rich, if he was at Juno’s wedding and friends with Jack.”
I shrugged. How much money he had hadn’t even occurred to me to think about. “Everyone there was wealthy, but I have no idea if he was rich. He was hot, though. And Jack spoke highly of him. Likes the same sorts of books and traveling to the same sorts of places.”
