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As I took another step to the side, I could see him. He was leaning against the wall with his back to me and it was clear that Kit was on the other side of him.
“Thank you. I would definitely be interested in your project. I’m flattered that you’d consider me. Why don’t you message me about it?” Kit sounded her usual sweet self, and I clenchedmy jaw and fists. Kit was flirting with Peter as much as he was flirting with her.
I didn’t want to hear any more and stalked back into the box. She’d made it very clear that she was going to work with whoever showed an interest in her, and it made me wonder if I’d been played just as much.
Not wanting to talk to anyone just yet, I marched up to the window and focused on the game, arms crossed and all my other emotions locked up deep inside. Maybe Daniel had been wrong and none of this had truly been worth it.
CHAPTER SEVENTY-THREE
Kit
Standing in front of Peter, I wanted to cry. He had blocked my way in returning to the box and I didn’t know how to get past him. He had seemed friendly enough at first, but had gradually grown more flirtatious as we’d been standing out in the hallway together.
“Surely you can give me a more confident answer than that?” he asked as he reached out and ran his fingers down a stray lock of my hair.
“I really can’t. It’s complicated being here and working for too long. I need to go back to the UK for a while. After that, we’ll have to see. It’s…complicated.” I smiled, trying to walk that fine line between being vague and not making the guy in front of me angry. It was always hard to know how a man was going to react to being rejected.
Ever since I could remember, I knew to be careful how I turned anything down. The truth was that I would be wherever Lukas wanted me as long as he wanted me there.
Peter studied me for a moment, his eyes dark and his smile no longer lighting up his face the same way. I tried not to show my fear or let my smile falter. But I was aware I had been awayfrom Lukas and the box full of people for a while now. I didn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea.
“We’re missing the game,” I said, trying to sound very eager to get back. “Definitely message me and I’ll keep your project in mind. There’s a chance we can make it work.”
As I finished speaking I shifted to go around him, fixing my gaze on the door to the box and the safe place beyond it.Please don’t grab me on the way past. Please don’t grab me.
Thankfully, Peter kept his hands to himself and didn’t follow me. I exhaled with pure relief as I pushed the door open and went inside the box again. I was shaking and unsure what to do with myself at first. The toys inside me didn’t feel so fun, and I only wanted to feel safe and calm again.
I looked for Lukas and found him staring at the game with his arms crossed. Although I didn’t know the game well, I assumed his expression was a sign that his favorite team wasn’t doing great. At least I hoped that was what was bothering him.
Either way, I knew he promised me I could take his hand and give it a few squeezes if I was struggling, and right now, I definitely wasn’t okay. I hurried up to Lukas, grateful that no one stopped me or called my name to get me to talk to them.
As I drew up beside Lukas, he visibly jumped, as if he had been lost in his own world.
“Hey,” I said, my voice coming out smaller than I’d hoped. He didn’t uncross his arms, and I found myself unsure of what to do. I couldn’t force him to take my hand when his hand was unavailable, and I didn’t know what to do in this situation.
“Hello,” he replied after glancing at me and looking away again. The word came out cold and almost dismissive. I frowned, the feeling of unease not going away at all. He had promised to be my safe place in all this and now he seemed like he was anything but.
I swallowed, trying to fight the emotions tightening my chest and making it hard to breathe.
“Can I hold your hand?” I asked, almost whispering the words, my voice coming out far weaker and smaller than I wanted it to.
Again he glanced at me, and I looked up at him, not masking how I was feeling for a brief moment. Still he hesitated, but as he looked away and back at the game, he relaxed and lowered his arms.
I turned to the game, too, hoping it would give me something to focus on, and slipped my hand into his. At first he didn’t appear to want to hold it, but I squeezed his hand a few times, and he at least let me keep my hand there.
Despite him at least doing that, he didn’t utter a word. He offered no further comfort and kept his attention on the final quarter of the game. It helped to be close to him, and at least I knew Peter wouldn’t try anything else, but I didn’t feel like this was making me any calmer.
Something was wrong, and Lukas wasn’t letting me know what.
Not long after he let me take his hand, Richard came up on the other side of us.
“Enjoying the game?” he asked me.
I nodded, not trusting my voice to hold out while I answered.
“Lukas, you not happy with the guys? They’re winning, aren’t they?” Richard smiled as if he was trying to break the ice.
“They are. And playing well.” Lukas gave him a half-hearted smile in return, and both of them seemed to ignore me.
