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“I believe I have been confused about what this is…was, as well. I am sorry that we’ve been upsetting each other this way. Would you like me to sleep somewhere else tonight?”
As Kit got to her feet, I considered the question. Did I want her to sleep somewhere else? Daniel had encouraged me to enjoy her company. Maybe that’s what she had thought this was. Just enjoyment on some level.
“Do you want to sleep somewhere else tonight?” I asked, studying her reaction. She looked confused and finally gazed up at me, returning the study. Although I was sure she was upset on some level, I couldn’t tell exactly why. Was she expecting this to be easy on me? She’d hurt me a lot. I’d thought she was genuine.
“More than knowing where to sleep, I don’t want to fight anymore. I want to rest and recover. Today was difficult, and most of all, I really don’t want to hurt you.” Kit shrugged, and for a second, I wanted to walk over to her and kiss her. I wanted her to apologize. To beg for mercy in a way I could believe.
As soon as I had the thought, I pushed it away. She was never going to do anything to earn my trust back. Yet again I had let someone in only for them to let me down.
“I’ll stay in another room. You’re tired. Stay here. I’ll come back and get my things in the morning and drive us both back to Chicago. Don’t worry, I’m not going to be rude or angry. We can talk about finishing this project on the way back if you like. Keep it business.”
Before Kit could object, I finished my second drink, gulping down the fiery liquid, then walked to the door. She slumped back down again, putting her head in her hands, but I didn’t let it stop me from leaving. We were done.
Walking out on her and knowing I was ending it hurt more than I could have put into words, but with every step I took, it got easier to keep going. This would all be over soon, and I could move on to the next project.
CHAPTER SEVENTY-EIGHT
When I walked from the room and left Kit behind, I wasn’t sure where I wanted to go. I didn’t want to go to the reception immediately. My chest ached in a way I hadn’t expected it to, and it took all my self-control to fight back tears. This wasn’t how this was supposed to have ended.
For a few minutes, I wandered the hotel part of the country club and then I went down toward the gym, considering a workout to see if I could run off everything I was feeling. I was most of the way there before I clocked that I would need to go back to the room for sportswear if I wanted to work out.
Of course, I was rich enough to go buy some. Or have some shipped to me, like I’d done in Chicago to show Kit how interconnected I was and what money could do. But I couldn’t bring myself to do so. Instead I left the more public area. What I really needed was to be alone for a while.
It was time to go to reception and get myself another room. Thankfully I had my wallet and ID on me. If nothing else, that would stop me having to go back tonight. With any luck, I would have my emotions under control again the following day and I wouldn’t have to see Kit again until then.
The emotions that played across her face in what little I had seen of it while talking to her kept running across my memory as I walked down to the main lobby area. I really hoped that I didn’t run into anyone else that I knew. I hadn’t been in the room with Kit for long after Sarai and Richard had gone to lie down.
Before I could get there, I received a phone call. It was Daniel. I picked up immediately.
“You okay?” I asked him before he would be able to do the same to me.
“Just about. I had a chat to a few more folks about your young woman.” Daniel sounded cheery enough, but I knew that I didn’t want to be in the public eye to have this conversation.
“What about her?” I asked as I changed direction and headed toward the gardens this time. I’d seen some quiet spots out of the way. Maybe I could hide somewhere and listen to whatever my friend had to say.
“Honestly, I got a lot of mixed reports. Some of that was bound to be the men having an inflated ego. Some of them like to think that every woman would want them, whether they really do or not.”
I frowned, not sure I liked what I was hearing. At this point, I was more than a little skeptical that it could be any kind of a mistake if she had come on to any of the men. What was it Daniel wasn’t telling me? Or did he truly think that she might be innocent?
As I made my way through the gardens, I listened to him talk about the initial impression that everyone had. Most of them liked her and Daniel started there. Not that it told me anything about how faithful she was.
While I walked, all I did was listen. I didn’t know what to say, and I didn’t know how to process what I was hearing. How did I tell Daniel that this didn’t matter? That we had broken up already anyway. There was no saving this, even if I wanted to.
Once I found somewhere out of the way, I considered how to interrupt Daniel and tell him. It was sweet that he’d gone to this much effort, but it was almost entirely over the top now.
“Daniel?” I said, barely hoping to even get his attention and stop him. Thankfully the flow of words stopped.
“You are saying my name like there’s news, or someone died, or you’re unable to talk right now, or something similar. Are you okay?” Daniel asked the question carefully and slowly, and I tried to consider my response. My heart wanted to scream at him that I was anything but okay. Instead, I exhaled and closed my eyes.
“I’ll be fine. Things with Kit…are already different. But I can talk. I’m alone for now.”
Daniel didn’t reply at first and I heard the sound of movement as he went somewhere more private. “Okay, talk to me, buddy. Because alone sounds like it might actually be bad when you put it like that.”
“I’m not about to do myself any harm. Nothing like that. It isn’t a problem. In fact, alone is good right now.”
“Clear your head sort of deal?” Daniel still sounded concerned for me, but he’d taken it down a notch, and that was enough for now.
“A think about what I want to do next sort of situation. I think some of the information you’ve gathered is probably too late, but I appreciate that you gathered it.” I wanted to be vague, but I knew I wasn’t explaining everything enough for Daniel to let it go.
