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I look at the browser, wondering if I can find out when she was using it.
Hoping that maybe she didn’t see…
Divorce.
That word echoes in my mind. And I lift my eyes, looking past the computer screen to the folder on the table.
No.
She wouldn’t.
I shove the laptop to the side and drag the folder in front of me.
It looks like the same folder that was on her desk that day.
The day I went to her office.
My hands feel unsteady as I lift the cover.
I expect a typed form, but the top page is a handwritten letter.
I know what’s behind the letter, but I can’t bring myself to lift the page.
Because the letter is written to me.
Luke,
I’m sorry I’m being a coward and not doing this in person.
And I’m sorry for pushing you into this whole marriage thing.
I never should have done it. Shouldn’t have threatened you the way I did.
I’m sorry for making you flip your life upside down.
I know you didn’t plan on being my husband,but you were great at it. Too great.
And I can’t make you play along anymore.
It’s not fair to you.
And I can’t pretend like I’m not
If you ever get married again, I can tell her you weren’t in love with me. That it was all an accident. It won’t take away from what you offer her.
I’m sorry, Luke.
When you find someone to love, she’ll be a lucky girl.
Yours, Nat
I stare at the page.
Stare at the spots where the ink is smeared.
Look at the sentence she crossed out.
I can’t pretend like I’m not…
