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Luke: She helps me out sometimes. Real good with her hands.
Princess: Maybe I don’t have to bother with divorce papers. I can just ask Beth and her hands to help me murder you.
Luke: *sends selfie of huge grin and sweaty hair*
Luke: This is how happy your jealousy makes me.
Princess: It’s good to die happy, I suppose.
Luke: I just laughed so loud I made some guy drop a dumbbell.
Luke: Beth is the physical therapist here.
Luke: Pretty sure she’s sworn an oath or something to do no harm.
Luke: And she’s married.
Luke: Princess, I promise you, I’m only teasing about her hands. If her husband ever heard me say that, he’d rip me to pieces.
Luke: I mean that literally.
Luke: *sends pic of a gigantic man doing pull-ups with weights hanging off his waist*
Luke: See? Terrifying.
Luke: Come to think of it, you should probably come here with me all the time as my bodyguard. He doesn’t always like my jokes. You’ll be my buffer.
Luke: Princess, you there? You didn’t go back to sleep, did you?
Princess: I can’t fall back asleep. Some guy keeps texting me.
Princess: And I’m debating if I forgive you.
Luke: *sends selfie with lower lip sticking out in a pout*
Princess: I believe you said something about taking your shirt off?
Luke: That’s only for in person. I don’t want to make the ogre jealous of my muscle definition.
Princess: I want you to know I’m rolling my eyes.
Princess: Hey, so I’ve talked to a lawyer in Minneapolis, and she’s writing up a divorce contract for us. Since we don’t have any shared assets and won’t contest anything, then it should just be a matter of signatures.
Princess: Sorry, that sounded really… I don’t know. Not great. Sorry.
Luke: Don’t apologize, Green Eyes. Thanks for taking the lead on this. I know neither of us meant to get married.
Luke: That’s a sentence I never thought I’d use.
Luke: But I hope you know that getting a divorce doesn’t mean we’re breaking up.
Princess: Hmm, I don’t know if I can date my ex-husband. Seems kinda weird.
Luke: You can and you will.
Princess: So bossy.
Luke: Damn right. Now tell me when you’re moving.
