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“How bad will it be tomorrow?” He reached his door and slipped into his house, grateful for the warmth emanating from it.
Joey was quiet for a moment. “Bad enough that I’ll want to hide away from the world for a week or two. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to.”
“Why not?”
“I have clients to tattoo. I’ve already rearranged them once. I can’t do it again without it affecting my business. And it’s not just me I have to think about anymore. The artists rely on me as much as I rely on them.”
Ethan nodded, though Joey couldn’t see him, and slipped off his coat. “I’m sure they’ll find some other news soon.”
“It’ll die down once the funeral is done, and there’s no more light shining on the situation.”
“I don’t know if I would ever get used to that level of scrutiny,” Ethan said, settling on the sofa. Joey was silent, and Ethan replayed his words and grimaced. “I mean, I would if needed, but it’s really hard on you, isn’t it?” He hadn’t wanted Joey to think he wasn’t capable of the pressure of being in the spotlight. Though why, he wasn’t sure. It wasn’t like they were going to be a couple, was it?
“It takes some compartmentalising, that’s for sure.”
“Do you get a break from it at all? I mean, I know you don’t always have celebrity clients, so does that mean the reporters leave you alone sometimes?”
Joey sighed. “Sometimes, yes. We each travel a lot, but there’s always one artist who remains in London when everyone else is away. When we’re travelling, there’s less commotion during the actual journey, but it’s worse when we get to wherever we’re going. We try to keep our calendar secret, but somehow, it always gets out. Some celebrities tell everyone for the exposure. Some reporters probably pay for someone to tell them. Regardless, we’re always caught in the media trap.” He snorted. “I probably shouldn’t complain since this is my livelihood.”
“It’s okay to be bitter about it, even if you do have to rely on them sometimes.”
They lapsed into silence again, and Ethan knew he had to let him go, but he didn’t want to. For that reason alone, he did.
“I’ll let you go. No doubt you have things to do. Call me if you need anything, okay?” Ethan said. “Anything at all.”
“Thanks.” Joey paused. “Take care, Ethan.”
Pulling the phone away from his ear and ending the call was difficult, but he managed it. He stared at the dark TV screen while his brain revisited all the things he’d experienced with Joey. It needed to stop, but Joey had been the first person to make him feel every inch the submissive he wanted to be, and those memories reminded him of how it felt. He hated losing it, but he hated losing Joey even more.
Ethan closed his eyes and shook his head, sighing. He reached for the remote and flicked through the offerings until something caught his eye enough for him to set it playing. There would be no sleep for him tonight because he couldn’t go through Joey’s shouts and screams again. Not when there was nothing he could do about seeing him in the near future.
Ethan frowned. Could he visit Joey? What would be the point when the end would be the same result? He’d still be leaving Joey in London while he returned to Whitby. It wasn’t an insurmountable distance, but it would put a strain on any relationship they tried. And then there was the media to think about. If he was seen with Joey too much, they would start hounding Ethan, too. Would it be worth it to spend time with Joey?
Ethan didn’t have to think about that answer because it was a resounding yes. But if they started something, one of them would have to give something up eventually, and Ethan understood it would probably be him.
Could he give up his life in Whitby for Joey? It was all Ethan had ever known; he’d never lived anywhere else. He’d never wanted to live anywhere else. But could he?
It wasn’t a decision he could take lightly, and certainly not one he could decide upon while still slightly inebriated, although he hadn’t drunk so much that he didn’t know what he was doing. It stood to reason, though, that he shouldn’t be making split-second decisions when his emotions were bubbling at the surface. He’d set them aside for another day.
Ethan grabbed his phone when it beeped and stared at the words.
JOEY: I’ll always need you, Ethan. x
****
Chapter 10
Joey
Joey stood beneath the spray of the shower, head lowered, concentrating on the feel of the water hitting his neck and back rather than on the hours that were to come. He’d not slept at all, so the shower was for more reasons than freshening up. He needed to stay awake.
He pressed his palms into the cool tiles, ignoring the churning of his stomach, and focused on Ethan. He’d found it was the only way to get through the hours. It had only been two days since he’d seen the man, but it was two days too many as far as Joey was concerned. He’d told Ethan it was for the best—and it was—but Joey needed him. More than he had ever needed anyone before, including Elliott.
And there his thoughts went again.
Joey switched off the shower, dried off and dressed in his black suit, not even checking his reflection in the mirror because he knew what it would show. Joelle wound through his legs, mewling as if she knew what that day would entail, and if Joey could’ve brought her with him for the comfort she unknowingly gave, he would have.
He drank a glass of water, needing a drink but not taking the chance of having coffee—as much as he needed the caffeine hit. He placed the glass in the dishwasher as the doorbell rang. Straightening, he exhaled and smoothed a hand down the front of his jacket as he opened the door to Ani.
