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“I’m so sorry, Abbie.”
“Yeah. Me too. He was the best.” Her voice quivers a bit with her reflection of him. “But my mother has decided she’s had her chance at love. But she’s not even forty yet.”
I get it. I’d almost joined that club. I’d given up on men. There was no one in my mind that could ever measure up to how contented I felt with Dan. Look how that turned out. Dan let me down, keeping his double life a secret from me. Then Broadie comes along and gives me hope.
He made me feel confident. I felt more alive than I ever had before. I took chances, lived in the moment, and gave myself permission to explore physical intimacy without shame. My lips turn down into a deep frown, realizing it was all built on lies. He went to extraordinary lengths to get what he wanted.
“You’d really prefer to spend the rest of your days alone than try to find love again?”
Her question breaks through my torturous thoughts. It’s unnerving because she’s right. I do want to find love again. I’d given up on happily ever after—until him. I’d never been that happy. Not even with Dan. Yet, I refuse to teach any man that it’s okay to treat me that way.
“I don’t think anyone prefers to live that way, Abbie. But finding one partner with whom you share love, trust, and respect is hard enough. Two is near impossible.” She doesn’t need to know I’d mistakenly given my trust to both of them. That’s my cross to bear.
Abbie shrugs her shoulders before hopping off her stool to collect the medications she needs to deliver. “All I know, if I had someone as mad about me as you do, I’d find a way to make that work.”
* * *
“Poppy, wait up.”
Holding the door open to the outdoor dining area, I see Kat running toward me. “What are you doing here?”
Kat’s dressed in street clothes instead of her usual scrubs. “I wanted to bring Nick lunch. We got distracted last night, and I didn’t have a chance to pack a lunch for him.” She waggles her brows at me.
“Oh my gosh, Katarina. You really are living your best life.” The words barely leave my lips before a hollow ache fills my chest.
So were you, Poppy. So were you.
“Well, it must be love if I’ll drive an hour to bring him tuna fish casserole.” She giggles.
I shake my head at my vivacious friend. “Did you get to see him after all of that?”
“Barely. I got one kiss, an ass slap, and a see ya later,” she says, rolling her eyes.
Oh how the tables have turned. I hate to admit how jealous I am of what the two of them have found together. Digging into my sad-looking salad, I try to focus on my meal and not on the empty feeling inside. Apparently, my acting sucks because Kat wraps her hand over mine.
“I know you don’t have long for lunch. And I don’t want to upset you at work. But talk to me, Poppy.”
“There’s nothing to say.”
Kat reaches over and steals a thin slice of carrot from my plate. “There’s plenty to say. He was in love with you.”
“You’ve lost it. He wanted something he couldn’t have. I’d turned him down, so he manipulated me into getting his way. Mission accomplished.”
Kat leans back in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest. “I didn’t realize you were so easily swayed.”
“What does that mean?”
She leans in, looking me straight in the eyes. “The Poppy I know wouldn’t have put on a red wig and a pair of fuck me heels to sneak into a sex club and learn about the man she was falling for unlessshewas in control of her feelings. No man can engineer that. Broadie may have gotten the ball rolling, but what you had with him was the real deal. And you know it.”
Putting my fork down, I turn away from her and rapidly blink away tears. It did feel real. Nothing makes sense to me anymore.
“Poppy,” Kat tries to comfort me. “Are you sure it has to be this way?”
“Yes. How do I forgive what he did? Especially after everything I’ve learned Dan did. How do I trust anyone after what these two have pulled?”
“Well, you can’t compare what Broadie did to Dan. You were married to him for years. He was lying about where he was and who he was with.”
Wiping my mouth with my napkin, I start to get defensive. “Broadie lied too.”
