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“No. Not without you.” I sob, walking past the red line painted down the lawn, warning not to get any closer.
“You think I don’t want that? I can’t chance anyone linking me with you and the kids. It’s too risky. They already put me in jail. What’s next? It’s too dangerous,” he hisses.
“We’re all hurting, Luca. This is no life,” I choke out. I know my voice is too loud, but I can’t control it. My entire body is wracked in tremors. The intensity of the situation breaking down the strength I had left. “I can’t bear this. I’m trying to do the right thing, but I don’t want to live like this. I can’t watch my children live like this.” An uncontrollable wail sneaks out before I can push it down, as if my body is protesting that this heartache goes on any longer.
“Shhh, Cucciolotta.” Finally, he stands, placing his shotgun strap over his shoulder. You’d think the sight of it alone would be enough to have me running for the hills. But I miss this man so much, all I see is him.
Walking toward me, he makes some noise, and the dogs stay exactly where they were. It’s amazing how different they are with him. Even Cliff doesn’t seem to have this kind of control over them. “I don’t think this is wise, Jillian. I’d die if anything happened to the four of you because of me.”
Unable to stand it any longer, I reach out for him. “Please, Luca. I need to touch you.”
He lets out a small huff before stepping flush with the wooden fence, peering quickly between our houses toward the street before looking back at me. Luca reaches over and adoringly pushes a wayward lock of hair behind my ear. “How is it possible you’re more beautiful than the last time I saw you?” he whispers.
A tear trickles down my cheek.
“Shhh.” He swipes it away. “I don’t know how to make this work.”
“Easy. Put the dogs in the house and come in.”
“Baby,” he scolds. “We need to think this through. Now you know how dangerous this is.”
“Yes. So now we work together to figure this out. You’ve managed to come and go from Cliff’s unnoticed. Can you just visit through his yard?”
“It’s risky, Cucciolotta. They’re already closing in on me. And you don’t know these people like I do. No one is safe. Women, children, dogs. They have no respect for anyone’s life but their own.” He lifts the pads of my fingers to his lips and that action alone has me swooning for him.
I have no idea what to say. He’s right. I should be thinking about the safety of my children. But they are tucked away secure in their beds tonight, and completely miserable. Just like their mother.
Looking up at him, I feel like my heart is being ripped in two. He’s so close. If only he’d?—
Without warning, Luca turns on his heel, whistles for the dogs and walks briskly to Cliff’s backdoor. What did I say? The door slides open, and he and the beasts silently go inside.Wow. What a way to ruin a moment.
After a few moments of standing here stunned, I shake my head and decide to text him. A shiver runs through me as I walk back to my porch. As I place my hand on my door, I notice movement out of my periphery and turn in time to see Luca scale the fence. There’s no hiding the huge grin that overtakes my face.
“You better stop that. Someone could see your bright smile from the road.”
We make our way inside, and I barely flick the latch on the door before I’m on him.
“Are you real? Tell me I’m not dreaming?” he whispers against my lips as he cups my face.
“I’ve missed you so much. Don’t keep warning me about the risks. I’m aware. It’ll only make me feel like a bad mother for even considering this. But my kids are as broken as we are. I can’t ask them to live this way any longer. We need you, Luca.” And now those damn tears are back.
He drops his forehead to mine, dusting his lips back and forth briefly until he stops abruptly. “Wait.” He holds up his hand, and I immediately feel dejected. Lifting the gun strap from around his shoulder, he points to the laundry room. “I’m going to keep this above the laundry room shelves. Just until I can find a gun safe. No one will be able to see it.”
I freeze, swallowing hard. After everything that happened with Dillon, I’m not sure I’m okay with a gun in the house.
“I understand what you’re thinking. I’ll keep it locked as soon as I can, baby. But I have to have it here to keep you safe. I promise it won’t be an issue.” He lifts my chin with his fingertips, his eyes meet mine and a frisson of electricity sparks between us.
Flinging my hands around his neck, I pull his big, soft lips onto mine and let out a sound that’s half sigh of relief, half groan. He cups my face with his big, calloused fingers, his tongue teasing my lips before swiping into my mouth. I can’t help but clutch him tighter.
“God, I’ve missed you,” he whispers against my lips.
“I know. Me too.”
“I want to be sweet and romantic with you right now but, baby, we need to go upstairs. I need you.” He practically pleads. “If the kids come down here before I get inside you, I’m going to have some serious blue balls.” Luca trails kisses down the side of my neck before reaching for my hand and rapidly turning for the stairs.
I can’t believe he’s actually here. I’m so nervous and excited my knees are shaking as he attempts to take the stairs two at a time. Pulling back on his arm, I silently try to get his attention sohe realizes I can’t keep up. As he turns and gives me a quizzical expression, I try to catch up to him, and he smirks. He again lifts my hand to his lips, and we continue to the third floor.
Once the door shuts and the lock is secure, he pulls me into him and nuzzles his face in my neck. “Sorry. I was in a bit of a hurry.”
