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“Oh, yes. I will.” She claps, returning to the vicarious child I adore.
Dropping an arm around their shoulders and steering them toward my truck, I add, “I hope you don’t mind, Seth. I told the guys you’d help us in the kitchen.”
His look of pure adoration makes me feel ten feet tall. I’ve given up on the idea of having kids of my own one day. But I don’t mind renting these two from time to time if it can make me feel like this.
“Seth, we need more pancakes. Can you get Jamie to slap some on a serving tray and bring ‘em over here?” I yell.
“I’m on it,” he shouts back with a huge smile. That kid. His cheeks are going to hurt tomorrow.
“It’s really good what you’re doing, kiddo,” Wilson says as he pats me on the back.
“What? Chopping fruit?” I snicker.
“You know exactly what I mean.” Wilson is one of the older firefighters at our station.
“Well, they’re practically my godchildren. If any of us was catholic.” I chuckle.
Wilson simply shakes his head.
“Besides, I’ve started training him early to be a future fire fighter. I’m pretty sure we knew his career choice once he had his fourth birthday party in a row here. And we can use all of the recruits we can get.”
As I finish my statement, I notice Ruby standing before me, her face appearing downtrodden. “What’s the matter, Rubs? That’s not the look I saw a few minutes ago. Do you have a tummy ache?”
“No. It was something you said.”
Holy shit. What on earth did I say?Had she overheard me saying something to Wilson that she could’ve taken the wrong way? Darting around the counter, I scoop her up and carry her into a quieter area of the fire station. “Don’t be sad, Rubs. What did I say that made you upset?”
“Stephanie invited me to a birthday party.”
I look at her in confusion. How is this something to be sad about?
“It’s at the petting zoo.”
I try to prod her gently for answers. “Are you afraid of the animals?”
“No,” she answers with a bit of a giggle. Well, at least that’s an improvement.
“Are you allergic to animals?”
“No.”
“Do you secretly want to be one of the animals?” I ask with my voice low.
“No!” She laughs out loud this time.
“Then what is it? That party sounds like loads of fun.”
“I’ve never been to a petting zoo without Daddy.”
It’s as if someone rammed that cutting knife I’d been using on the cantaloupe straight through my chest. This poor kid. “Ruby, I wish I could tell you why bad things happen, why we had to lose your dad. But I know he’d be disappointed if you didn’t go to that petting zoo party.”
“I feel like it would hurt his feelings to go without him.” Her little pout is killing me. But at least there aren’t any tears.
Sitting down, I place her in my lap and continue carefully. “I bet itishard to think of going without your dad when your memories are so special. But I don’t think you’re going without him.”
She looks at me as if I’ve lost my marbles. Maybe I have. I’m not sure that I’m cut out for these conversations.
“I feel your dad’s spirit around me all the time. Especially when I’m doing something we liked to do together.”
