AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I told myself to keep my distance. Why am I trusting another man to put me and my children first? It’s more than anyone before him has been willing to give.
Luca genuinely seems like a nice guy. But from the start, his kindness was directed at repaying a favor. Then it was an opportunity for his nephew to spend time with other kids his age. I’ve clearly allowed my attraction to him to run away with me.
Or is it merely loneliness? The desire to be touched by someone?
I’m only human. I’m twenty-eight and haven’t had the company of a man in a long while. Even before Dillon was gone, he wasn’t really with us. His mind always seemed to be somewhere else. Where, I’ll never know for sure. But I’d be better off having a one-night stand in a bar than allowing myselfto get close to this man. Because he’s so incredibly kind, it would only hurt that much more when it was over. Him saying he didn’t want a relationship with me should be a gift in disguise. Even if hearing it hurts.
Is he gay? Was he in a loveless marriage? Had his wife stayed behind in Italy when he and his siblings moved here? I’d invited him here so I could share difficult, private details about my life with him in person, not over the phone. But this conversation is suddenly feeling very one sided. And it appears there’s good reason. Only one of us was willing to consider something more than friendship. Even if I should’ve known better.
“Please understand. This is not you. It’s all me.”
I try to hide the rejection I’m feeling.But that line is as old as time.
Luca turns down the stove top, grabs my hands, and pulls me over to the kitchen island. Lifting me up, he places me on the counter where I’d been sitting earlier and again, takes my hands in his. His expression is so serious, it makes my pulse race. Why had I let myself get so close to him so quickly? I don’t really know a thing about this man.
“My life is not my own. My family is involved in bad things, Jillian. Very bad things. It’s more than my father’s drinking. Illegal things.” I’m trying to follow what he’s saying, but he’s talking so fast. It’s as if someone has uncorked a bottle that’s been shut way too long. “There was such evil, that Luna was kidnapped and raped.”
My hands fly to cover my mouth, but the gasp was unmistakable.
“I’ve blamed myself for years. That I couldn’t have done a better job protecting her.”
“Where is she now?”
“She and Mimmo were living with me. But someone has taken them in. I’m grateful, but still need to check on them to besure everything is okay. It’s hard for me to relax, now that we’re not sleeping under the same roof. But Luna’s getting worse and I needed someone with her during the day.”
I can’t help but question. “Is Mimmo?”
“Yes.” Luca looks away. “He’s both our pride and joy, and the product of so much pain.”
My heart breaks for his sister. I can’t begin to imagine how you recover from something so horrific.
“She loves him. I’ve never doubted that. She’s simply struggled to get past the trauma she suffered.”
“I know you feel you have to do all you can to keep her safe, but is she still in danger here in America?”
“Not sure. But, I’m not willing to take any chances. Matteo’s ex-wife was harassed. We can’t prove it was someone related to the business, but we suspect as much.”
“Luca, your father allowed this to happen to your sister?”
“No. It was one of many people he’d pissed off in his dealings. But he practically shunned Luna after we found her. He made a big show of threatening to kill who’d hurt her, but treated her like damaged goods once she was home.”
My heart physically hurts hearing this. My dad wasn’t winning any father of the year trophies, but I never felt his walking away was intentionally directed at me. He was simply too selfish to give me a second thought. I would hope that if I was physically hurt in that way, he’d make the effort to be by my side. To help me recover.
But maybe Luca’s dad was no different. Too consumed by his addiction to alcohol and his criminal activity to give two cents about what had happened to her. It’s a vicious cycle both Luca and I need to stop.
“Luca, I’m so sorry. You know you can’t blame yourself for this. This wasn’t on you.”
He pulls back from me a little, and I immediately take the opportunity to squeeze his hands in mine so he can’t get too far away. This is too important. “I know. But I can’t help feeling I failed her.”
Reaching up, I run my fingers through his hair. I know this isn’t smart. He just made it very clear he’s not interested in anything more with me. But I feel the need to try to soothe his pain, even if only with this slight touch.
His eyes close briefly, and I can feel the weight of him as he presses his head into my palm. “I’m not willing to gamble with you and the kids, Jill.”
I can’t help but continue to run my fingers through his inky hair. The combined pain of our past somehow creating a magnetic force between us. Or was that already there, and this is cementing the bond? “Is Matteo’s ex-wife okay?”
“Yes. Physically. Matteo left her, making it appear he’d lost interest. He’s tried to watch over her ever since. But I’m not sure that pain can be forgiven.” Luca looks up at me, sorrow filling his blue-green eyes. “I can’t do that to you.”
It figures. I fall for the most honorable man I’ve ever met, just to be kept in the friend zone. I’m so overcome with respect for all he’s been through and continues to do for his sister and Mimmo, I can’t see straight. I rest my forehead on his and feel his hands slide up to rest on either side of my neck. At least I know I’m not alone in this.
