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“Try to keep your head down and stay calm, Fratellino. We’ll get you out of there. I’ll reach out to G. Just hang in there.” I try to relax, knowing Matteo, Giovanni, and Giovanni’s security team will get straight to work on this, but the lack of control is causing panic to set in.
“I need you to get someone on my girl and the kids.”Not that they’ll ever be mine again.Not after this.I’ve tried to avoid the thought of her finding out. Beyond what she might think of me,if she believes any of this is true, is the fact she put her trust in me. Those four people mean as much to me as Antonia and Mimmo. Knowing they could be hurting, or worse, in danger because of me, makes me physically sick.
The line goes quiet momentarily. “I have to say, I’m surprised after the way you’ve been acting lately that she wasn’t your first call.”
His statement carries a biting tone. Is he bitter that I had the nerve to chase love after he had to throw his away?
“They say the one phone call shit is a myth. More for Hollywood than real life. But I wasn’t willing to gamble. I was too worried she’d hang up on me, and I needed to be certain someone would look out for her, the kids, Antonia, and Mimmo.” I wait for him to laugh. Ridicule me for allowing myself to fall for her. But the silence is just as telling.
“For once, can’t you think about yourself? You’re behind bars, for fuck’s sake.”
My nerves are shot, and my self-restraint is wearing thin. “Please, Matteo. If anyone understands, it’s you. I can’t walk away from them. I fucking tried, man. I tried. But I love them. All of them. They mean everything to me.”
I’m becoming unglued. Taking a cleansing breath, I ratchet my nerves. “Look, I know I don’t deserve them. And they certainly deserve better than someone who can bring such evil to their doorstep. They’ve already lived through so much. I’ll stay away from them once I’m out of here. Only watch over them as you do Sydney. But I’ll die in here if something happens to them. I need to know you’ll find a way to look out for them until I can.”
“Fuck, Luca. You could die in there anyway. Use your head.”
“Matteo, I know you, Luigi, and G will keep Antonia and Mimmo safe. But, if anything happens to my girl and her kids, I’ll have little left to live for.” It’s bad enough knowing I got so close to having it all, just to watch it slip away.
“Shit. Don’t talk like that. It’s bad enough I’ve had to live this way. I was hoping you could fuck your way through Virginia without letting any woman find their way into your heart. We’ve lost enough, Fratellino. We owe it to our mother to?—”
“I need to go.” I cut off Matteo before he can make any threats about our father that’ll be on tape. I can’t risk that this phone call could one day be used against him if he makes good on his threat to ruin Vincenzo Messina.
“Okay. Stay strong. We’ll prove you had nothing to do with this and get you out of there.”
“Thank you.”
The officer takes the phone from my hand before I can say goodbye. I’m actually surprised the conversation lasted as long as it did.
“I don’t speak Italian, but I hope you asked for a lawyer,” the officer says as he tightens the cuffs around my wrists and leads me to my cell. I never thought to ask. But I know once my cousin hears what’s happened, he will take care of everything. My only job now is to keep a low profile in here so nothing else goes wrong. Hell, if my father’s organization can manage to plant drugs in shipments to my business an ocean away, there’s no sense wondering if he could get to me in here. Is anywhere safe from that monster?
As the guard removes my shackles and the heavy steel door of the cell slams shut, I take in my surroundings. There is a set of metal bunk beds attached to one side of the narrow room, with a small sink and commode on the other. The mattresses don’t look much thicker than a sleeping bag. I don’t even want to think about whether they’ve ever been disinfected.
Pacing about the small space, I run my hands through my hair in frustration. The last thing I remember before the FBI descended upon us was watching George eat some milk and cornbread concoction and wishing I’d replaced that PeptoBismol I’d given him. Then all hell broke loose. Had the black Lincoln Town car parked in that alleyway belonged to one of my father’s henchmen? Or was it an undercover agent?
Leaning against the back wall between the beds and the sink, I let my head drop against the concrete as I stare up at the ceiling. How had I let this happen? I should’ve been more on guard at work. I knew this was a possibility. Falling in love with Jillian and her kids has made me soft to the danger around every corner.
Jillian. It’s her fucking birthday and this is what she gets for taking a chance on me. I slide down the wall until my ass hits the ground. Rubbing at my chest, the hollow ache is almost too much.
My face falls into my hands. I’m sure any guard walking by will think I’m crying over my current fate. Being caught red handed. Yet, I’d trade living the rest of my life in here if I thought it would keep her safe. I should’ve known better. Being with me could only ever cause her pain. And she and the kids have endured enough of that.
“Fuck!” I yell, pulling at the ends of my hair, as I imagine them feeling hurt and betrayed. As hard as I try, I can’t avoid picturing their devastated faces. I wouldn’t blame them if they all hated me.
The real prison is imagining little turtle walking without me, Tarzan feeling sad that his new friends aren’t coming back for him, Myla crying as she had that day in my lap, and her mother hurt by one more man in her life who’d promised to do better. And knowing I can’t do anything about it. That their lives are once again shattered. But this time, because of me.
“Why?” I bellow to the heavens above. Who the hell cares what the people here think of me. My heart has once again been torn to shreds. Imagining Jill and the kids feeling the same iscausing the pit in my stomach to become cavernous. Haven’t we all been through enough?
If only I’d had more willpower to do the right thing and keep my distance. The vision of Matteo drowning his sorrows in scotch after pushing his wife away comes to mind. He was so much stronger than I was. To turn his back on the love they shared in order to keep her safe. I drop my head back into my hands. Infuriated at the evil I’m forced to face each and every day. Determined to find out who’d set me up. Make them pay as I will be for the rest of my lonely existence. Angry that I let my guard down. And angrier still that instead of walking away, I brought this heartache to Jillian, Cecilia, and the kids.
A lump forms in my throat, thinking back on the horror she’d shared living through. And one thing becomes clear. I had no right to judge her husband.
For I’m no better than him.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Jillian
It’s beena little over a week. The kids are miserable. I feel bad about the way I’ve handled all of this, bringing someone I barely knew into our lives. I’m trying to forgive myself. We’re only human, after all. And they don’t get much more charismatic than Luca. But I hate my part in making this worse. Especially lying to them.
