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She stopped struggling and went utterly still.
Immediately the energy changed, and my cock grew harder. I dropped my head to the back of her head. Both of our breaths grew unsteady and faster with each second.
A whimper escaped her lips.
“Theo.” The husky way she said my name conveyed so much desire and need.
No. Those thoughts had to remain locked away.
She’d endured more than she should have with that bastard. The last thing I wanted was to trigger a single one of her demons.
I pressed my face into her hair, the craving to give her what she asked at war with the worry this was too soon.
“Please.”
“You can’t be serious. Not after what you lived through.”
“It isn’t the same thing, and you know it. The marks you leave are from pleasure and because I asked for them. They aren’t because of anger or rage. Your pain is sweet, delicious agony that I fantasize about.”
“I’m not sure if I can go to that level with you. Not yet, anyway.”
“I’m not delicate. What he did to me doesn’t change how I loved sex with you.”
“How can you expect me to hunt you in the dark, force you to submit, and then fuck you? What we did before were games with rules we all knew.”
“What do you call what happened right now? We’re in the dark, and you hunted me, forced me to submit, and fucked me with your fingers.”
“That is completely different than what you are asking me to do. I love you too much to chance hurting you.”
“Theo.” Her tone grew hard. “I’m not saying hunt me through the various passageways of this house, catch me kicking and screaming, and fuck me.” She hummed, making my cock jerk. “Though the idea of that turns me on more than you can ever know.”
“Then what are you saying?”
“I want you to be Theo with me.”
“Meaning?”
“Stop restraining yourself. I want my Theo.”
Her Theo. She had no idea who her Theo was anymore. The things I wanted weren’t anywhere near sweet. What we’d done in the past was the tip of the iceberg of the things I enjoyed now. I’d explored the darker side of my desires while abroad. I refused to unleash them on her.
She wasn’t ready by any means.
“Who is your Theo?”
“The lover that washed over me like a raging storm and consumed me whole.”
“I see.”
She couldn’t possibly expect me to give her all of me to that level. It might destroy her. But maybe a portion of it would satisfy her.
Who was I kidding? This was a temporary solution, not a long-term fix.
“What do you see?”
“You’re telling me I’m being too gentle with you. That you like it rough with me since that’s our kink.”
“You are brutally honest with me. You fight with me. You won’t ever take my shit. You don’t sugarcoat that I’m a bitch sometimes. And through all of it, you still want me. That’s the Theo I fell in love with. That’s the Theo I want.”
