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Theo shifted to face me, his gray eyes blazing and void of the cool mask he loved to cloak himself with. “Do you actually believe we wanted to leave? You are the fucking air we breathe. We had to keep you safe. He would have killed you if he had learned about us. We barely managed to hide it from Theios Peter.”
Grabbing the handle, I pushed open the car door. “Safe? Let me quote a line from one of my favorite movies. I know you’re familiar with it since we watched it together. You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”
Without a backward glance, I strode into the house, feeling the urge to cry for the first time in ages.
* * *
As the morning sun slowly crept through my window, I stared up at the intricately designed ceiling of my bedroom. No matter how much I wanted to let the tears fall, I’d kept them at bay. If I opened up that tap, it might never close. Instead, I’d tossed and turned all night long.
Dreams of Theo and Xander had invaded my sleep, reminding me of our times together. Our hours of laughter, long conversations, friendship, and pleasure I’d only ever found with them. They were once upon a time, my rocks, my safe place, the people I trusted with everything.
Then it all shattered into tiny, microscopic pieces.
Since taking my vows, I had trained myself to repress my desires and accept Andraius’s twisted form of sex. I’d convinced myself that at least I’d had love and pleasure for a short moment in my life and locked away my needs.
Now that barrier had all come crashing down in one night, reigniting feelings I couldn’t have.
Their sheer presence made me want, crave, and ache. A deep throbbing pulsed in my core, and there wasn’t any relief in the future from it.
My eyes drifted to the open doorway that led to Andraius’s bedroom.
Just the thought of him touching me gave me nausea. He only knew how to take, never to give.
At least I wouldn’t have to endure anything from him for another few weeks. He only came around when the doctors said I was at peak fertility.
In the meantime, he’d travel between his variety of women tucked around the city.
I’d say more power to them. I’d happily divorce the fucker and let one of them replace me.
I sighed and tucked the covers more snugly around my body.
His mistresses only saw him as an attractive man who looked younger than his fifty-four years. However, once he tired of their newness, they’d get the full view of the disgusting and ugly monster hidden under the handsome face and designer clothing.
I hated him for taking the suite of rooms that had belonged to my parents. There were so many others to choose from, bigger ones, renovated ones. Still, he’d picked this one because of its significance to me and the organization.
At least he believed the bullshit I fed him about my parents having separate bedrooms and me wanting the same thing. If Papa and Mama were ever under the same roof, they never slept apart. I’d wished for the type of love they’d shared and believed I’d found it with Xander and Theo, as unconventional as it had been.
Mama used the room I currently slept in as the “I had a bad dream room” for my siblings and me while growing up. The last occasional occupant was Linus.
The pain of loss shot through my heart. I adored that boy. He was the surprise no one expected, full of joy and laughter. He’d completed our family and brought the energy of a volcano into the house.
A lump formed in my throat, and I quickly shoved it back. No, I refused to dwell there.
At least I had Mama and the girls, even if they were far away.
God, I missed them.
I had to remember they were safe and couldn’t see firsthand what my life had become. Even with the chaos Andraius caused in our lives, his sending Mama and the girls to Cyprus may have been the best thing for them. They lived freely, doing as they pleased as long as they followed the rules of not engaging with any of the other syndicate families.
Or, we’d made it seem like they’d broken ties with all families. Everyone knew Papa was the eldest son of a boss and had inherited my grandfather’s seat, but people seemed to forget Mama was the daughter of a power boss from a province in Greece. No matter what my idiot husband believed, one never cut ties with their blood in the syndicate world, especially immediate family. My maternal grandfather may have passed away, but my uncles were still alive and ran their organizations.
I’d rather deal with the bastard here than let him or his cronies know how my mother or sisters actually lived abroad.
Which included access to the many Swiss accounts where I’d funneled some of the Angelos coffers when Andraius had locked me in the library before he forced me to marry him.
Fucker thought he could keep my Mama on a tight budget and make her beg him for money. I’d let hell freeze over before that day came.
Papa was one of the most intelligent men I’d ever known, and he’d had backup plans for backup plans. I never thought I’d have to follow through on one, but I had. If only I’d had the skills or contacts I possessed now back then. I could have done so much more. Hell, none of this would have happened.
